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The Eggplant
Guy Who Was Bullied in High School Welcomes You to This Showing at the SLC
Guy Who Was Bullied in High School Welcomes You to This Showing at the SLC

Artistic, Community-Building, Horny--these are only a handful of the many words that one can use to describe the daily happenings at FSU’s infamous Askew Student Life Center.

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The Eggplant FSUApril 17, 2019
Man Who Couldn’t Afford Coachella Tickets Wants You To Know He'd Never Go To That Sort Of Thing
Man Who Couldn’t Afford Coachella Tickets Wants You To Know He'd Never Go To That Sort Of Thing

With the wafting scents of $15 gourmet hotdogs and Boomerang Instagram stories of that one Ferris wheel, it’s clear that the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival has arrived.

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The Eggplant FSUApril 16, 2019
It’s the Spring Game and Somehow FSU Still Lost Against Themselves
It’s the Spring Game and Somehow FSU Still Lost Against Themselves

In all senses of the phrase, Florida State’s football team played themselves once again in this weekend’s Spring Game.

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The Eggplant FSUApril 8, 2019
It’s Enrollment Season and Dating My Advisor Has Never Been So Useless
It’s Enrollment Season and Dating My Advisor Has Never Been So Useless

It seems that we students are constantly presented with the daunting task of deciding what classes to take next semester as we further ruin our lives.

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The Eggplant FSUApril 5, 2019
University Ambassadors and Orientation Leaders Duke it Out Over Who Has More Fun Facts About FSU
University Ambassadors and Orientation Leaders Duke it Out Over Who Has More Fun Facts About FSU

Some of the nation’s greatest rivalries are attributed to institutions like Army versus Navy or Michigan versus Ohio State, but both pale in comparison to the rivalry at what is the considered to be the oldest continuous site of higher education in the state of Florida: FSU’s University Ambassadors and Orientation Leaders.

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The Eggplant FSUApril 4, 2019
Student Starts Nonprofit After Doing 3 Hours of Service at The Big Event
Student Starts Nonprofit After Doing 3 Hours of Service at The Big Event

The Big Event, known only for being really large, has inspired the students of FSU, TCC and FAMU to give back to their community.

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The Eggplant FSUApril 2, 2019
Petitioners on Legacy Walk Only Want to Harass You to Sign Your Organs Away
Petitioners on Legacy Walk Only Want to Harass You to Sign Your Organs Away

The walk from Woodward Garage to HCB has evolved from avoiding thot-hating bible thumper to dodging petitioners with clipboards asking people to sign a multicolored sheet with big buzzwords like "equity" and "I'm getting paid $15 an hour to bother you."

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The Eggplant FSUApril 1, 2019
 Anthropology Department Introduces "Florida Man Studies" Minor
Anthropology Department Introduces "Florida Man Studies" Minor

With enrollment officially opening up once again, it's time for advisors to disapprovingly look at rising seniors who show a scary 56% completed on their academic maps and still haven't managed to fulfill their ENC2135 requirements.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 28, 2019
Bees Zooted Off Campus’s Newest Flower Investments
Bees Zooted Off Campus’s Newest Flower Investments

The change in seasons marks warm weather, that rash on your inner thighs coming back and the oncoming threat of nature’s most threatening pollinators.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 13, 2019
FSU to Host Live Births on Landis in Response to Abortion Protestors
FSU to Host Live Births on Landis in Response to Abortion Protestors

If it wasn't obvious from the number of uplifting posts circulating through social media, International Women’s Day was on Friday, March 8! In commemoration of the holiday, students' eyes were visually assaulted by gaggles of anti-abortion protesters screening graphic, alleged abortion videos on Landis Green and Legacy Walk.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 11, 2019
Engineering School Buys Up Entire Amazon Stock of Phone Belt-Holsters in Preparation for Class of 2019 Graduation
Engineering School Buys Up Entire Amazon Stock of Phone Belt-Holsters in Preparation for Class of 2019 Graduation

As the semester slowly crawls its miserable way toward the promised land that is summer, FSU’s graduating class has been getting antsy to up and leave this brick jungle we call home.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 7, 2019
Report: The Government *Could* Be Spying on You Through Your iClicker
Report: The Government *Could* Be Spying on You Through Your iClicker

Odds are, a majority of students will be forced to purchase a  glorious and incredibly used iClicker for attendance points during their time at Florida State University.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 5, 2019
Amount Raised for Dance Marathon Revealed to Be Less Than Cost to Rent Civic Center
Amount Raised for Dance Marathon Revealed to Be Less Than Cost to Rent Civic Center

After months of preparation and fundraising, Dance Marathon at FSU finally reached the end of its weekend of dancing and gong smashing for $2.2 million, which, as a lotto jackpot would leave you wanting more, but it's definitely enough to save some sick children.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 4, 2019
FSU School of Theatre’s Hairspray Review: Needs More Zac Efron
FSU School of Theatre’s Hairspray Review: Needs More Zac Efron

Between the gallons of prop hairspray, plus-sized hijinks and the sultry tones of Mark Ziegler as “The Voice of the News Broadcaster,” FSU’s School of Theatre was able to transport viewers back to 1962, a time when being black or fat was taken as a sign of inferiority, unlike how it totally still isn’t today.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 22, 2019
SGA Elections: How to Pick the Names That Sound Coolest as You Vote Blindly This Wednesday
SGA Elections: How to Pick the Names That Sound Coolest as You Vote Blindly This Wednesday

Time to rev up those voter cards and then put them away again because nobody is actually paying attention to this student-ran election

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 20, 2019
Unite Party and Legacy Party Merge Together in Unprecedented Strategy of Confusion
Unite Party and Legacy Party Merge Together in Unprecedented Strategy of Confusion

In a turn of events that nobody expected, the Unite Party and Legacy Party activated their polymerization Yu-Gi-Oh! card to fuse together into a singular entity that holds a strong passion for graphic design, unique color combinations and avoiding the use of the word "amplify" at all costs.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 19, 2019
Quirky Group of Pals Claim Starbucks Booth as Their Study Space
Quirky Group of Pals Claim Starbucks Booth as Their Study Space

Studying and caffeine in the library is key component for many FSU students survival. Without either, time stops and society crumbles like your sense of self worth after seeing a bad grade.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 7, 2019
Health & Wellness Center Debuts “I Told You So” Campaign After Recent Flu Outbreak
Health & Wellness Center Debuts “I Told You So” Campaign After Recent Flu Outbreak

There’s nothing like finally getting into the groove of the semester and watching your immune system abruptly self-destruct because some gross normie decided their desk was going to be a tissue.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 5, 2019
Recess Pool Actually Ponce De Leon’s Fountain of Youth
Recess Pool Actually Ponce De Leon’s Fountain of Youth

It's pretty obvious that FSU CollegeTown™ nightlife is waaayyy different and better and cooler than any other Collegetown™ nightlife… but did you know ours is also eternal?

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The Eggplant FSUJanuary 25, 2019
Eggplant FSU Creates "Anyone Can Run" Party for SGA Election
Eggplant FSU Creates "Anyone Can Run" Party for SGA Election

It's the time of year where tensions are high exclusively for those who were safety patrols in the fifth grade and wanted to continue their involvement into college.

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The Eggplant FSUJanuary 23, 2019
Newer Older

  • The Eggplant FSU
    I haven’t showered since last year😭
    Apr 5, 2023, 8:42 AM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    Investigation into where the fuck those red chairs on landis went
    Apr 2, 2023, 1:42 PM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    We are unbelievably upset by the accusations laid out in this totally real letter we received. We will continue to… https://t.co/rl1b2cYlY5
    Apr 1, 2023, 2:51 PM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    hey fools, happy april🤭
    Apr 1, 2023, 1:23 PM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    Damn, this class is keeping me late🤯🤯🤯 (it ends at 4:20)
    Mar 29, 2023, 4:19 PM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    If our song and mirrorball are gone, what do i have to look forward to for the tampa show, taylor???? (i don’t have tickets)
    Mar 29, 2023, 1:30 PM

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