To showcase who actually sucks the hardest, the NCAA has announced a new policy allowing players to enter the transfer portal and successfully transfer schools mid-game.
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“I can’t take it anymore,” said Tyler Bradley, a first-year Finance major. “It’s too hard. I thought I’d be getting straight into stocks and crypto trading.”
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FSU released a statement this morning announcing the start of plans to construct a new and improved union. Starting next week, the current student union will be closed until construction finishes in 2099
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Samson was left abandoned by his family following his visit to Tallahassee, and he’s wandered the Student Union aimlessly since.
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Talloween is once again in full effect and, god, am I pissed off.
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The budget for supplying FSU’s horny student body with protection has been $5,000 for the past ten years. This year, in the name of wrapping it up, the budget has increased to $1M.
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This one's for all the Boners out there. After featuring a variety of big-name performers, FSU’s Club Downunder struck gold yet again when they took to Instagram to announce their latest upcoming musical guest: Styxx Youngbone.
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Despite repeated warnings, Dr. N. Tine, acclaimed pulmonologist and graduate of the Florida State University College of Medicine, has found himself without a medical license. Following the repeated offense of hitting his Geek Bar during critical lung consultation appointments.
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Scandal struck the Tallahassee bar scene this past weekend, when a bartender noticed that one of the patrons was shockingly found to be three freshmen in a trench coat.
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President Richard McCullough says that he is thrilled to welcome Sendonomics to campus, and that “those wannabe sendy SEC schools ain’t got nothing like this!” He then shotgunned a Four Loko and did the griddy.
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There has been an exponential rise in the frequency of FSU students accidentally misspelling FSU as “FAU.”
How was he supposed to know that asking “How many holes am I workin’ with?” might cause trouble?
You don’t win until you walk into the clinic with something viral, bacterial, and fungal
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It all began when Chad Chadley, a sophomore finance major with a douche bag minor, answered a video call from his “roommate” Brad Bradley.
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He had just one last semester to get through without injury, and that was his last day on the force, too
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I think it goes without saying that the work ethic here needs to be praised, even if the actions don’t fully align with the law
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It’s no secret that Tallahassee has a reputation for producing some of the most aggressive drivers in the nation
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Is increasing your chances of getting that spot in Traditions Garage by 5% worth enough to you? Because it’s going to cost eternal damnation.
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For a minute there, audiences seemed so charmed (as opposed to watching our robot overlord Governor Desantis speak), you could almost forget he was an alleged pedophile.
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