Reports indicate that your father knows a slew of Secretariat trivia, including his birth date, location of death, star sign, political affiliation and more
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What wretched hand drives those college students to interfere with my machinations?
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“We wanted to find a way to give students who live on campus the feeling that they might be able to find parking within 3 miles of their residence,”
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On Friday, Feb. 13, 2026, security was spotted escorting a young man no older than 20 out of the Tallahassee nightclub Bajas
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In the spirit of inclusivity, the staff finally let me, their token redhead, take on this initiative after days of advocacy
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I AM HAVING TROUBLE WITH MY COMPUTER, DEAR READER. COULD SOMEBODY JUST LIKE TELL ME HOW I TURN OFF MY CAPS LOCK.
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I fucking hate my son. He always tries to belittle me. Acts like he’s better than me. Jason, my bitch ass son, who I don’t like, has always prided himself on his apparently eclectic music taste.
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I’m a pretty busy guy. I got a lot of work to do at the office and such, so this new AI stuff has just been such a help.
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That’s when he clicked on his best friend Zach’s (@zach4reallll) story to see everyone in the group chat enjoying an intimate night of board games and drinks.
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I’ve literally had it with white people Thanksgiving food. I can’t stand to go another year having to eat Meemaw’s unseasoned ass turkey
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Tragedy struck the FSU community when it was discovered that the FSU goat, S’mores, was found dead in Miami last night.
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The best part of this feature is you can manipulate your friends into being better people. By letting them know in transparency where they fall among the rest of your friends, they are far more motivated to do nice things for you than they would be without an open ranking system.
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Gone are the days of Honda Civic hookups and buying cranberry juice in bulk, for we have been delivered from the grip of the modern dating scene by two of our very own.
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With a little bit of therapy, and getting over some of that internalized misogyny that your mom probably gave you from that time that she cheated on your dad, you can pop that Incubus CD in and start enjoying driving with your girlfriend.
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… the biggest gambling event of the year (probably), which means your odds of winning increase tenfold (definitely).
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For those poor souls who cannot eschew class due to an attendance policy or academic drive (lame), classmates’ laptop screens provide entertainment second only to getting White girl wasted in the student union. However, recent reports indicate that this beloved university pastime may be a front for something more sinister.
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It’s just a guy thing, you wouldn’t get it, right? WRONG!
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Going on a hike at 10 am on a Tuesday or sitting at a coffee shop to read feminist literature? Whatever it is, being a “creative” is definitely not a job.
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How is it that a so-called 50/50 shot at free liquor ends up not being so 50/50? It can’t just be that I never win
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