With graduation just around the bend, The Eggplant is here to help all the liberal arts majors being thrown out into the real world ensure that they’ve made the most of their time in this kitschy, hellscape of a city by compiling a comprehensive list of all of the local cryptids found throughout the area.
Read MoreThe success of sticking FSU quarterback Deondre Francois with a marijuana possession citation after digging through his trash for several weeks has inspired the Tallahassee Police Department to create a new branch of TPD solely focused on digging through players’ garbage.
Read MoreFollowing the tragic loss of the evil clubbing entity, Coliseum at the end of last year, residents on the west side of Tallahassee have finally come to terms with. knowing that they will never be able to turn up next to a CVS littered with broken bottles and throw up ever again.
Read MoreWhen you have delicious, gravy-smothered breakfast biscuits on your mind, the last thing you'd expect is someone trying to steal your identity from right under your nose.
Read MoreLast week, 71 members of the Florida House of Representatives voted against merely hearing House Bill 219, which would ban AR-15s among other assault weapons and large-capacity magazines.
Read MoreThe smell of stress sweat and frustrated tears filled the air at the Lucky Goat on Pensacola last t weekend as many students opened their syllabus calendars for the first time all year.
Read MoreNestled between FAMU and FSU is Railroad Square Art Park: a local community of shops and unique businesses that holds a warm place in the hearts of everyone who grew up in Tallahassee and went through a scene phase.
Read MoreIt’s that time of year again, folks!
Read MoreBetsy DeVos will visit two schools in Tallahassee today. So naturally, we made a drinking game.
Read MoreIf you’re like me, your tummy is always growling for two things: an all-natural beef beatdown in the form of a chemically-laden, mass-produced hamburger and some hashtag coffee to wash it all down.
Read MoreSummer is just around the corner! While the season change usually just means a temperature shift from ‘semi-uncomfortable’ to ‘it feels like the inside of a mouth,’ some Tallahassee residents take this time to indulge in some R&R at the beautiful, not at all gentrified Lake Ella. Whether you’re watching an $8 Big Easy Snowball drip down your arm or avoiding your ex-boyfriend as he makes out with his new girl on a bench (FUCK YOU, BLAINE!!!), one thing is certain when visiting this Monroe Street hot spot: the ducks will refuse anything that isn’t vegan, gluten-free, unprocessed pita bread from the organic aisle.
Read MoreSweet Shop is commonly known around Tallahassee as a quaint little hangout where students can meet up to talk, study, order an ice cream sundae or even scratch ‘420 Blaze It’ inside their booth of choice.
Read MoreAfter a 12-hour carpool ride listening to The Avett Brothers on repeat and practicing his vape O’s, sophomore Will Dunkie’s Apple Maps pinged that he had arrived at his location.
Read MoreAfter the defeat of the evil Lord Voldemort, his identical twin Rick Scott was summoned to wreak havoc upon the world.
Read MoreLast week city officials toured The Dwellings, a new sustainable tiny house community under development in Tallahassee.
Read MoreIn the wake of the anti-immigrant rhetoric of the Trump campaign, and following the tragic fire which killed the parents of the three Baudelaire orphans, one snivelling state senator is trying to kill two birds with one stone, which is unlike how he usually kills birds: slowly in his basement while laughing hysterically and to completion.In the wake of the anti-immigrant rhetoric of the Trump campaign, and following the tragic fire which killed the parents of the three Baudelaire orphans, one snivelling state senator is trying to kill two birds with one stone, which is unlike how he usually kills birds: slowly in his basement while laughing hysterically and to completion.
Read MoreRiches-to-riches underdog Donald Trump continues his grassroots campaign tour this Tuesday with a stop in Tallahassee, Florida.
Read MoreSince the start of the fall semester, residents of Tallahassee have dealt with severe damage to electricity lines thanks to multiple storms, a car crashing into an electric pole and their roommate Greg not paying his share of the utilities.
Read MoreFollowing last Friday’s All Saints parking area closure, local businesses were told to scram as the whole fucking area is now going to be demolished.
Read MorePot smokers and ironic jokers alike rejoiced last week as one student finally became the back end of the cannabis-based punchline they’ve all been waiting for since the 7th grade, a mere three years before any of them actually touched marijuana.
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