November has the potential to be a productive month, as it is one of your last chances to do literally any of the things you promised yourself you would at the beginning of the year.
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November is finally here and with it comes the smell of rotting gourds, a pilgrim’s promise and the beginning of the end for this season’s Greek life pledges. After a grueling two months of ill-fitting blazers, pastel ties and fruitless efforts to get a blow job from literally anyone warm-blooded, these fraternity hopefuls face the final test of loyalty and dedication: Hell Week.
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Any time a new director comes onto the scene of a beloved halloween torture-porn franchise, the air is abuzz with hostility and the remnants of Donnie Wahlberg’s farts. How could they possibly surpass the pure art of a shotgun death carousel? Luckily, the Spierig Brothers recognized the truth: sometimes, misanthropic depravity isn’t found in the mind of a fictional cancer patient with a vendetta.
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October 27th plopped entirely too much pop culture media onto our plates. The horny Mario game, the inexplicably controversial “Wolfenstein 2” and season 2 of the colossally popular Netflix original series “Stranger Things.”
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Tallahassee boasts dozens of bars, clubs and restaurants to spice up your Friday night but none are as difficult to sneak into as Madison Social. The 21+ establishment makes it as hard as possible for underage students to slip through the cracks and blackout after three mixed drinks.
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Last weekend, students with fake ID’s ranging in believability came to Recess for a night of partying, dancing and trying to not fall in the pool.
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History was made Friday night when a group of audacious girls opted to go out with their natural hair, which would have been considered very cool and even normal anywhere outside of a Florida college town.
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Professionalism and precision were both on display today in Professor Yulman’s Religious Ethics class when students arrived armed with their lengthy midterm research essays. While most were well thought out, revised and neatly bound together in those ugly little portfolios that you used for lab reports in AP Chemistry, one student caused a commotion in the back corner of the room as Professor Yulman collected the assignment.
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It was just another Tuesday afternoon when brothers Jack and Adam from Florida State’s shortest and angriest fraternity kicked back on a semen-stained couch at their frat house.
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If there’s anything middle class Americans love more than Christian youth groups, it’s Japanese steakhouses. You’re probably familiar with them if you know anyone named Emily who had a birthday recently.
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With Parents’ Weekend looming in the near future, it is important to start preparing for the inevitable: your mom getting too drunk too fast at happy hour.
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An already-rough semester took a turn for the worse this week for psychology teaching assistant and Florida State junior Michelle Lamp.
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As OndaRay OuseyRay sat down at the last Strozier Starbucks booth on Thursday, a fellow student at the neighboring booth asked, “Hey can you watch my stuff? I’m just running to the bathroom real quick!”
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Women who were once your average run-of-the-mill middle school tormentors have all grown into upstanding philanthropic women since joining their college sororities. These principled women, who were once suspended for taking pictures of girls through the cracks in the school bathroom stalls on their Motorola Razrs and posting them to Myspace, now pride themselves in taking part of an event that honors children.
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Honestly, you should have expected it.
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A well-rounded FSU student exhibits mastery of balancing school, work and social endeavors, all while keeping in touch with family back home. Some do it because last time they were in class and didn’t pick up their mother’s phone call, she called FSUPD claiming they were dead.
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While most students in your literature class are just kind of going off what the last person said, some of the dweebs who actually do the assigned reading show up ready to discuss whatever novel you avoided in high school.
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In the habit of joining every resume boosting club in high school, FSU freshmen of all majors are desperately looking to join any sketchy club with heavy fees and questionable objectives. While many have decided to go the fraternity and sorority route, others who claim they would never “buy their friends” have decided to take the moral high road and pay for their qualifications instead.
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As we settle back into the Fall semester after having to restart school all over again, the pressure is on to spend every weeknight at Recess, mildly disappoint your parents and do your best impression of a student who actually did the reading.
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Tad Gomez was thrilled to let his hair down this weekend as he reportedly received upwards of three Facebook invites from two enigmatic Tinder matches and one guy he met during the ghost tour at orientation.
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