Cornhole! The Southern Man’s Chess

Cornhole! The Southern Man’s Chess

With the arrival of one of the biggest football games of the season, both Canes and Noles alike are anticipating an exciting day full of heatstroke, overpaying for parking and traumatizing children in the neighboring tents. Despite the palpable rivalry, both sides will be united by a timeless pre-game tradition enjoyed solely while day-drunk and covered in their own vom.

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Role Model Alert! Jameis Winston Throws up Demon Beelzebub in Front of School Children

Role Model Alert! Jameis Winston Throws up Demon Beelzebub in Front of School Children

Last Thursday, when many aging undergraduate students could take ease knowing they no longer had to worry about their school's reputation being tarnished by an immature, yet nationally renowned quarterback, there was a disturbance in the Force. Jameis Winston, professional football player and part-time crab thief, spoke in front of a fifth-grade class. After saying a series of sexist remarks that no one condoned but many expected, he decided to throw up a living, breathing demon by the name of Beelzebub.

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Real Sportsmanship! UNC Kicker Scored to Show Ricky Aguayo What a Field Goal Looks Like

Real Sportsmanship! UNC Kicker Scored to Show Ricky Aguayo What a Field Goal Looks Like

And you thought Saturday was all bad! Even though the ‘Noles experienced a crushing second loss to an unranked North Carolina team, a new report has emerged providing what might just be the feel-good story of the year. Players from both teams have come forward to explain that UNC took their final place kick in order to show Ricky Aguayo what a field goal looked like.

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