Everyone who’s anyone knows that FSU is currently on the come-up. After moving into the prestigious Top Twenty status, FSU had truly been thriving thanks to raking in multi-million dollar donations made by old, philanthropist sugar daddies and recent graduates who figure they owe the school something for making their degree more valuable.
Read MoreThis past weekend saw hoards of mothers and fathers entering Tallahassee’s city limits to get their fifteenth chance at the college lifestyle.
Read MoreIt was an open mic-night like any other. Angsty college students stumbled on stage in an attempt to humor their peers who will laugh whether they’re actually funny or not.
Read MoreDating on a college campus can be a unique challenge. In the quest to keep the romance alive, couples might find themselves running into difficult, yet universal obstacles: how do I ask if we’re exclusive without seeming too invested or whatever?
Read MoreAnyone who's anyone has played with a cute dog on Landis - whether it be a frat guy’s “chick magnet,” a LARPer’s only friend that goes by some dumbass name like Sir Fredrick Lancelot, or a creepy preacher’s dog who doubles as a way of tricking students into talking to them.
Read MoreFor the majority of students, the most exciting thing to expect during their time at FSU is narrowly missing an MIP charge for the third time at Pots.
Read MoreTikTok’s disease-like offspring have been infiltrating mainstream media for weeks now and have really rounded out the definition of the word “viral.”
Read MoreAfter passing out at many-a-football game, FSU students have often struggled to remember how they traveled from point A to point B and eventually crash-landed into the letter L.
Read MoreHindsight is always 20/20; at least, that’s what FSU’s engineers have been saying as the cause of the fateful Reynolds-Suwannee bridge collapse has become too chunky to ignore.
Read MoreNow that it is the beginning of the year, most students have resorted to blood sacrifices, selling feet pictures, and, worst of all, working for Seminole Dining in order to make ends meet.
Read MoreFollowing the recent tragedy of blowing an 18-point lead and yet again soiling FSU’s legacy of being a second-half team, Coach Taggart has decided to change his trajectory when it comes to recruiting prospects to the FSU football program.
Read MoreRinging in the new school year never sounded so angsty thanks to Club Downunder’s annual Last Call Before Fall.
Read MoreIt often seems that there are two types of students on Florida State’s campus: students from Bumfuck, Central Florida, or those out-of-state overachievers whose enrollment at the university often begs the question, “how much financial aid did they offer to trick you into coming here?”
Read MoreThis fall semester, FSU welcomed a slew of distressed parents and their starry-eyed children to campus.
Read MoreTaking notes from their ankle-splitting Razor predecessors, electric scooters have arrived in Tallahassee to provide drunk college students and overly excitable congressional interns with an exciting new chance to become victims of vehicular manslaughter - and perhaps hit some sweet jumps.
Read MoreTragedy struck in Gainesville, Florida, this weekend as hundreds of $25,000 pieces of résumé-ready paper were destroyed in mere seconds - and this year, it was not by the ceremonial dumping of Gatorade onto the graduates.
Read MoreGainesville’s rejoicing over their new Cheesecake Factory was cut short after news broke that the only thing the University of Florida has to offer, an off-campus bar and restaurant called The Swamp, would be torn down.
Read MoreAs the semester comes to a close, the drudgery of the last few exams, projects and papers has begun to weigh down on a lot of students, especially in this political climate.
Read MoreBoard shorts and midday benders have already made their appearances at numerous tiny apartment complex pools around town as the weather slowly crawls its way to the high 110s.
Read MoreIt’s that time of year! Your computer has crashed so many times that its like Y2K all over again, Canvas continues to collectively lose its shit and students are exercising their last shreds of freewill by roasting the living hell out of their professors through course evaluations.
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