Indie Group Impresses FSU Audience By Sounding Exactly Like Every Other Band CDU Hires
Ringing in the new school year never sounded so angsty thanks to Club Downunder’s annual Last Call Before Fall. Every year, CDU brings in a fresh, new slate of bands to showcase not only their quirky, original music taste but also their dedication to booking bands that produce the same style of songs over and over again. With crowds of beanie-baring skater boys and glitter-clad e-girls continuing to go wild at each show, CDU’s strategy of booking any act that started on Bandcamp has remained a demoralizing success for enthusiasts of the oldies, aka ‘Real Music’.
“I was really hoping they’d get Mac Demarco this year for Last Call, but Alex G was a close second considering both artists’ style of music is made for sad boys like me,” said Ryder Greek, a CDU regular and “undeclared” student and soul, while adjusting his single dangly cross earring. “I didn’t originally want to go to Florida State. I wanted to skip college and make music out of my parent’s guest house for a bit, but they forced me and my band, Exposed Ankles, out onto the rough streets of higher education. But at least I’ve got the CDU in this cruel world. I would never have been able to pay the $15 to see Gravy Boat or Kitty Clitty live if it weren’t for these free shows.”
“We’re pretty fortunate to get such a wide range of indie artists,” said CDU talent buyer Mooney Perkins while dog-earing every page in the latest copy of Top Secret Indie that she reportedly picked up at a co-op but actually stole from Urban Outfitters. “Not every college can bring in the top alt-rock bands that you’ll pretend to like the next time you get a crush on a guy who prints his own t-shirts. It’s not always easy, though. One time we booked Beach House, but they bailed once they realized they’d have to come to Tallahassee. Luckily, we were able to scrounge up a local band in uncombed wigs and the oldest Vans you’ve ever seen. No one in the audience even noticed! They signed autographs afterward, too. It’s pretty magical how most alt-indie bands are just a key change and a septum piercing away from becoming one another.”
Even though most of the bands given a platform by CDU perform the same moany lyrics about wanting to die and ghosting ex-hookups, Club Downunder never disappoints with their overall quality. Considering the lineups for most of their concerts are straight from the moodiest circle of Hell, it is actually astounding how their shows can transport you to a reincarnation of the rightfully deceased Vans Warped Tour. Basically, CDU and any of the serotonin-deficient bands they book could, like, get it.