Everybody has their own unique, foolproof method to decompress as we enter the annual spring existential crisis season.
Read More
Though everyone already knew that tow truck drivers work largely under the guise of moonlight because they’re a special breed of fairytale villain, rumors surrounding one driver’s mythical kink are circulating Tallahassee.
Read More
Evan Rhodes is not sexist, or so he announces in his toothpaste-speckled mirror every morning before longboarding to class and scratching at the fresh coat of pink nail polish on his thumb.
Read More
Covered in tan lines and still smelling of sunscreen and unspecified bodily fluids, students are flocking back to FSU’s campus this week as classes start back up after spring break. As they adjust back into their mundane, un-debaucherous routines, some have managed to keep their wild vacation memories alive.
Read More
The sun is shining, clocks are rolling forward and half of FSU’s campus is waking up with bloodshot eyes that they can now successfully blame on that pesky yellow pollen. All of this serves to remind us that the season of rebirth and trashing public beaches has arrived at last.
Read More
First written by the Gods, there are two core principles upheld by every college student across the country: the ability to perform any basic task at the last possible minute and the frenzy that ensues trying to find an internship that will wiggle their foot into the door of that cruel, baby boomer world.
Read More
With half of the Spring semester already completed, students can finally take a moment for themselves and enjoy a much needed break from schoolwork.
Read More
Move over anyone who thinks they're Woke™, there’s a new activist taking little gay campus hearts by storm. Professor Charles Jones has bravely stepped into the spotlight as a champion for the poor, voiceless LGBTQ students of Florida State University by coming out as a straight ally in the middle of his IFS4200 course titled “I’m Socially Liberal but Fiscally Conservative.”
Read More
It’s brunch time in Collegetown on a Sunday. You just finished this month’s drinking challenge at your favorite unspecified brunch spot in one sitting, with only Captain Crunch pancakes and a single bite of Jessica’s bacon to soak up the liquor in your stomach.
Read More
Following Delta Nu sorority sister Jessica Hodges’ fourth consecutive blackout since Fat Tuesday, the FSU junior and retail merchandising major has finally taken a hint and retired into her bed with a glass of boxed red blend before 9:30 PM.
Read More
Unseasonal humidity and artificially-scented vape smoke are not the only things in the air on FSU’s campus this week.
Read More
Fear the changing room no longer my lumpy brethren! H&M is spearheading the movement toward total body positivity. That’s right, the fashion chain has rolled out their newest publicity stunt and it is filled with the ultimate fit for all those medium sized mamas who found a cute top to be just a squish too tight or a touch too big.
Read More
In a world where Dolly Parton can have as many pop features as Quavo and Reba McEntire can convincingly dress up as Colonel Sanders’ creepy animatronic twin, it is easy to understand why more and more Americans are tyin’ up their chaps and fervently denying their white privilege as a way to embrace the good ol’ country lifestyle.
Read More
The cuckoo clock of human ineptitude has recently determined that the world is roughly two minutes away from global catastrophe, leaving the general public to make as many Iron Maiden jokes as possible before The Bulletin of Atomic Scientists come out of their bunkers to knock our teeth out over the next glib Facebook post.
Read More
Movie lovers across the nation are taking pompous Rotten Tomatoes critiques way too seriously and coughing up $12.78 for momentary relief from their terrible lives.
Read More
There are only so many times in the course of history when a person with world-changing wisdom and the eloquence to spread it graces us mere mortals with their presence. Recently, one small community has found itself at the epicenter of a modern Enlightenment.
Read More
After sweet and nice friend Angela got a new ombré done this weekend, she put on her only scarf and went into the selfie lab: a dirty old mirror on her floor that she found on the street and hasn’t had time to hang up. Angela was hitting all the angles. Angela was looking good in that environmentally conscious LED ceiling fan light. She needed this.
Read More
Everyone has met up with that One Promising Tinder Match™ for coffee at some point in their collegiate lives, and boy oh boy did your barista know about it.
Read More
With a good mix of both scared freshman and second semester seniors waiting it out until graduation, it is reported that the MTV 1000 film basics class is still profoundly moved by their professor’s syllabus week sermon.
Read More
As the days continue to somehow keep getting colder, there is nothing that chills more than the combination of fear and fury brought on by the sudden realization that the old edition of a required textbook just won’t cut it.
Read More