In a move almost as surprising as it is late, FSU’s Student Senate has actually done something and passed a resolution on 4/20 (ayy lmao) that aims to ban headdresses from all FSU-sanctioned events, including football games.
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Jealous of all the attention the young, handsome, charismatic and just all around cool guy Carolina Panthers star Cam Newton has been receiving for his dancing prowess, Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning took it upon himself to match his upcoming opponents moves.
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As UF Hate Week draws to a close, we’d like to take a moment to thank the age demographic that consistently delivers the best kind of humor - dads.
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With a history of feigned perfection, a crack in the system has finally forced University of Florida students to admit a truth known to apparently everybody but them- the orange and blue color combination is honestly pretty terrible.
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Following widespread steroid usage among the Gator football team stemming from former starting quarterback Will Grier’s failed drug test, the UF athletic department announced Wednesday that they must now fund the creation of new athletic cups to help protect the team’s itty bitty nuts.
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After recent losses to the Clemson Tigers and the what should have been the far less intimidating Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, the Florida State Seminoles are experiencing a strange season in which they do not have to come up with a new pun to describe their winning streak on Instagram every weekend.
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Coach Jimbo Fisher was quick to answer for yesterday’s loss to a 2-5 Georgia Tech team by pinning literally 100% of the blame onto overconfident junior Natasha Greenwood, who boldly predicted Florida State would “crush Tech” and then refused to knock on wood after saying so.
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Uh Oh! Controversy! Following the news that University of Florida starting quarterback Will Grier has been suspended for the remainder of the season due to performance enhancing drugs, the collective University of Florida student body was forcibly removed from their high horse of sainthood and reminded that they still rank amongst the top in the nation for violating NCAA rules and regulations.
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Jerry Schwartz was the biggest fan of his high school football team, and his decision to come to Florida State was largely impacted by his desire to attend a school with a great football program.
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Early this morning, Wake Forest Police Department officials reported a dead lamb found on the football team’s practice field. Though they have yet to release any named suspects, a source at Wake Forest has said Florida State punter Cason Beatty was seen attempting to coax a lamb out of a local farm last night with a bottle of black-market sheep breast milk and a can of creamed corn.
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Boston College started this week with a chip on their shoulder leading up to Friday’s game against Florida State, knowing that win or lose, the Jesuit college would still have the head of the Catholic Church on their side. Unfortunately for them, Pope Francis announced this morning that while he does believe in climate change, he does not believe in the Eagles’ ability to beat Florida State.
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In the opening game of the University of Florida’s official intramural flag football season, the actual Gator football team suffered a loss at the hands of UF’s Alpha Tau Omega fraternity, 40-8. The Greek organization, which didn’t even finish in the better half of their intramural league last year, has successfully convinced the Gator football team that the worst is yet to come.
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Shortly after news emerged of a second incident involving a Florida State football player allegedly punching an intoxicated college-aged girl in the face, Coach Jimbo Fisher brought the team into the locker room early Tuesday morning to talk about the recent events.
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FSU football practice was halted Thursday morning when former quarterback Jacob Coker tried to sneak on to the field in hopes that no one would remember he ever left.
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A few days ago, FSU quarterback and all-around model citizen Jameis Winston announced that he will not be attending the NFL draft.
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Former ‘Noles quarterback Jameis Winston turned a lot heads this weekend with a standout performance at the NFL Combine. Winston was near flawless on passing drills, but he mainly had scouts gawking over how great his ass looked in spandex.
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The Florida State basketball team has had tonight’s nationally televised game against Duke circled on their calendar for months. The Seminoles have a history of upsetting highly ranked Duke teams, but tonight they have a totally different and more realistic goal in mind.
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This national signing day the Seminoles are once again bringing in top prospects, this time with 5 star DT Drew Brownstein, who is the cream of the crop in a recruiting class loaded with studs.
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As Seminole students and fans come to terms with the end of football season, some have turned to the FSU basketball team to try to find a reason to be happy again. However, many fans were shocked to learn that FSU’s basketball season has not only already started, but has actually been going on for a couple of months.
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When news broke this morning that the Heisman trophy winning and almost undefeated quarterback Jameis Winston will leave Florida State for the NFL draft, many Seminole fans were devastated.
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