With a history of feigned perfection, a crack in the system has finally forced University of Florida students to admit a truth known to apparently everybody but them- the orange and blue color combination is honestly pretty terrible. After years of bleeding orange and blue, students are finally voicing this inconvenient truth. "Honestly there's a lot that sucks about going back to campus after Thanksgiving," noted sophomore Amber Kelly. "We have to drive back to Gainesville, be in Gainesville, take finals in Gainesville, but worst of all has to be getting back to pretending that I enjoy wearing and being around the colors orange and blue regularly."
The student body is split on whether or not they should fight to change the colors, or if they should just continue to support it until their eyes fall out and the hand of darkness takes over. Many have begun researching the colors' origins to see if it was an accidental discovery similar to the polio vaccination. Turns out, the founders were unofficially colorblind and everybody was always too afraid to say anything. Now many concerned students who definitely look better in warm colors fear it is too late.
“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love pretty much everything about the Harvard of the South,” remarked UF president W. Kent Fuchs while brushing the hair of a Marco Rubio doll, the mass production of which has been the main focus of UF’s engineering school’s program this semester. “But gosh darnit my arm fat is just totally accentuated by the color orange! I wish I still worked at Cornell so I could wear garnet. Now that’s a good color.”