20 Royalty Free UF Burns By Florida State Dads


As UF Hate Week draws to a close, we’d like to take a moment to thank the age demographic that consistently delivers the best kind of humor - dads. After a stressful week of gator-roasting, we decided to sit back and let the dads take the wheel. So while you’re preparing to watch tonight’s showdown at The Swamp, take a short trip back to the sickest burns of yesteryear with this collection of UF jokes by FSU dad grads, with graduating classes ranging from the late ‘70s to mid ‘90s. The best part is, this fire content's royalty free! So you can use any or all of these jokes to gator hate all day long! As always, go Noles!

  1. “Gator? I hardly know ‘er!”- James, Father of 3, FSU Class of ‘95
  2. “If you do the CHOMP, then you’re a CHUMP.” - Rajeet, Father of 2, FSU Class of ‘88
  3. “Gainesville? More like Painsville. It hurts to live there!” - Chris, Father of 2, FSU Class of ‘79

  4.  “UF students are so clueless, when they hear it’s chilly outside, they get a bowl!” - Miguel, FSU Class of ‘82

  5. “Gainesville? More like Rainsville. Wait, actually that’s Tallahassee. But I’m sure Gainesville has bad weather as well, considering the relatively close proximity of the two areas.”- Rick, FSU Class of ‘83

  6.  “Gainesville? More like Stainsville. You know, like poop stains!” - Rick after a few more beers, FSU Class of ‘83

  7.  “What's the best thing to come out of Gainesville? I-75!!!” Diego, Father of 1, FSU Class of ‘91

  8.  “3 Gator football players are in a car, who’s driving? A police officer!” Tim, divorced, FSU Class of ‘86

  9.  “UF? What that stand for? University of Farts? Hahaha.” - Billy, Not a dad, but destined for comedic greatness.

  10.  What's the difference between a Gator and a bucket of crap? The bucket!” Carlos, FSU Class of ‘85

  11. "Making fun of a football team is not going to help you become a doctor. Go finish your studies." - Mohammad Ahmed
  12.  “Florida Gators? More like Florida Gaturds!” Nguyen, Father of 4, FSU Class of ‘81

  13. “Gators? More like haters of things that are cool, like FSU!” - Sami, 53, Father of 4, FSU Class of ‘88”
  14. “University of Florida? More like University of Bored-a, because their football team isn’t good at football, meaning they do not score, causing all of their games to lack excitement!” - Walter Lewis, FSU history professor
  15. “See ya later alligator? More like, see ya NEVER alligator!”- John, Single Father of 1, FSU Class of ‘88
  16. “Gators? More like crocoPILES OF SHIT! EAT A BIG ONE, UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA!” - Craig, unprompted, did not graduate
  17. “I don’t really understand what you’re asking of me, and frankly, I think this is all a little over the top…”-Father Michael, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
  18. Actual swamps are fascinating filled with flora, fauna, and exotic creatures. UF’s swamp is just filled with sweaty white dudes that are not good at football!” - Robert Carson, FSU environmental science professor

  19. “Are you from UF? Because U Effed up by not choosing FSU!” - David, Office of Admissions Employee
  20. "I'm actually more of a basketball guy :/" - Jared, 21 father of one toddler.