With the summer months fast approaching, everyone is looking to get their beach bodies ready to inevitably sit on the couch and re-watch like “Mad Men” for the fourth time instead of actually venturing outside.

While the girl online shopping a row ahead of you in class is still stressing about whether or not that Free People dress would be better in Olive or Blush, her frosted-tipped formal date plans to curate his own headache-inducing ensemble a mere thirty minutes before the main event.

As another semester has come and gone, some things have stayed the same: the Testing Center continues to look and feel like the third-class floor of the sinking Titanic, FSU is officially a softball school and most importantly, Seminole Dining still doesn’t know the difference between “meatloaf” and “roadkill.”

For the bored, desperate and ultimately heterosexual, Tinder is a swipe-driven amusement park of The Office quotes and self-proclaimed “entrepreneurs.”

Students around Tallahassee believed the last of their apartment troubles were finally  solved after they re-signed their leases and got rid of the thrice-daily emails to “Netflix, Chill and Re-sign.”

Packing for Spring Break is like packing for a trip to the moon: I don’t know what I’ll be doing once I get there or how my weight will be affected, and have no clue as to whether I’ll be anywhere within the sun’s reach.

After spending countless nights drinking until 3 a.m. and days where we just sat in my dorm room talking smack about the guy down the hall from us, I thought that I knew everything there was to know about my friend.

Despite the apparent health and safety violations, Spring is characterized by the infamous Seminole Shack Showdown.

With Spring Break approaching slower than a frat boy “trying” to make a girl orgasm, it’s hard to pay attention in any class that involves a lecture, note-taking or any sort of thinking.

FSU’s “Beautification” initiative of its ungracefully aging campus is underway, and just as anyone who has seen the first twenty minutes of “The Princess Diaries” should know makeovers need an ugly broad to make pretty.

As the effects of global warming intensify, steadily drawing nearer the inevitable demise of the human race, many students might be thinking to themselves, “what minute behaviors can I adopt as a cog in the machine of capitalism to make myself feel better about the fate of the planet?”

Twice a semester, dread looms over Florida State University as the murmurs of tests that weigh 75% of your grade suddenly become a reality.

With midterm exams around the corner, everyone seems to be doing everything in their power to avoid studying and being productive members of society.

It’s a wicked world of dating in the 21st century for most college-aged students with dating apps and awkward house parties being just some of the ways to meet the eligible bachelors and bachelorettes of Tallahassee.

Much like United Legacy’s dumbfounding How To Get Away With Murder-esque twist in today’s SGA election, a student candidate desperate for traction and last-possible-minute attention has risen from the masses to announce his partyless bid for presidency with a single promise: to fund the makeover of Strozier’s beaten down turnstile system with Dirac Library Finances.

Paris, London, Rome, Prague – these are just a handful of the glamorous destinations that FSU Senior Brittany Randall could have visited this past weekend, surely creating memories to last a lifetime.

Unless you're a member of the large number of our campus population that cannot maintain a healthy relationship longer than 72 hours, love is certainly in the air.

If you have done goofed it like nobody’s business and decided to start dating someone during the period we affectionately like to call “The Pink Danger Zone,” you may be in trouble for the upcoming week.

Dear God,

It’s me, Maggie!