Well, you horny little mongrels, it’s that time of year again. The putrid odor of all the people with actual social skills is in the air once again.
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It’s shocking that some Georgia hick would feel more at home in Tallahassee than literally anyone else from Florida, yet with a higher amount of hills than people, and temperatures below freezing, northern Florida seems to be a far greater environmental shift than most Florida kids will encounter in their entire lives.
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A group of freshmen was found yesterday using tactics borrowed from the kid on their floor who thinks he’s a wolf to systemically hunt and consume seniors.
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Every MWF, right in the middle of the lecture, the idiot student who forgot to hit “stop” instead of “snooze” for a random alarm relishes in the crumbs of surly attention from the class.
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This is sad! Alexa, play “Blur.”
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The hallowed institution of Florida State University has always strived to make sure that its students feel safe and welcome no matter where they are on campus -- even though, at any given moment, 90% of the student body still feels like they don't belong.
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Seasoned class Facebook page veterans once again shook their heads in dismay, raising their virtual flags at half mast to commemorate the money lost during the annual syllabus week scams.
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It’s the start of a brand new year, which means there’s no better time to check up on what the planets are cooking up for you this 2019.
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In a surprising turn of events for the man who has spent most of his adult life insisting to various intimate partners that size does not matter, the current administration began what is now tied for the longest government shutdown on record.
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It’s common knowledge that if you're a Florida resident attending FSU, you're guaranteed to have run-ins with some of the worst people imaginable, including those from your own high school.
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As the New Year kicks off, thousands of people are pretending like 2018 never happened as they swear off drinking and spend hundreds on new Lululemon in pursuit of a bikini bod by Spring Break.
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Icebreaker season has reared its ugly head once again and students across the country will be expected to stand in front of a classroom and talk about what they did over break besides lick Cheeto dust off their grimy little paws.
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Due to the trauma that has been the entire year of 2018, it's about time everyone pretends to care about the holiday season through the escape of poorly produced feel-good movies that have no substance whatsoever.
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Upon being invited to Julie Gomez’s house party, Heather Moskowitz was ready to force her liver to be above max filtering capacity and live the rich wine mom lifestyle every sorority girl that came to college to meet a man is one day hoping to achieve.
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If Tallahassee has taught us anything this past week it's that baby, it's cold outside. It’s about time to snuggle up with someone special out by an open fire and remember that the holidays are the perfect time to get your romance on.
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As November is welcomed with a frigid 75-degree windchill, it’s evident that fall is finally starting to rear its nippy little head in Tallahassee, giving everyone a reason to pull out their turtlenecks and sip on a hot beverage.
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Typically, the general male population found on college campuses maintains a delicate balance between acne ridden boys with voices that still aren't able to hit those deep, sexy bass notes and men that look like they have a wife, 3 kids and a full-time job selling health insurance.
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Today is election day and there’s no better way for students to flex on their friends than by letting them know how politically active they are by performing the sexiest act of all: voting.
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College libraries have always been paramount for providing students with resources needed to get through all-nighters filled with hours of procrastination and senseless scrolling through the deepest parts of Wikipedia.
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A majority of the student population at FSU knows what the end of October means: a time to drink away the rest of the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving break without having any meltdowns.
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