All The Things You Can Do Today While You Wait For Your Gumbo To Cook in the Crockpot
Now that Pinterest has successfully gentrified meal prepping, the hype is real and every little college kid can hop on the bandwagon. As the semester is ending, it’s high time to whip up a 1-course meal in that $25 Crockpot your mom sent you for Christmas. Of course, unlike your latest hookup, it takes a minimum of 8 hours for anything you put in a Crockpot to reach its climax, right in your mouth. Still, you have sh*t to do, so here’s a list of all the things you can do today while you wait for your sweet, sweet Gumbo to stew.
8. Annotate Postmodern Literature
Ask your English Major friends for their favorite novel they’ve read in class and proceed to zone out. This might take up your entire day and will certainly eliminate at least a week’s worth of will to live.
7. Ask Your Chemical Engineering Professor Out for Coffee
The amount of time it will take for your socially awkward fuck of a teacher to devise an answer will already eliminate two and a half hours. Then, you two can talk about the chemical composition of caffeine or maybe why his wife left him.
6. Swipe Your ID at Any Of The Libraries On Campus
Repeatedly shatter your dignity and pelvis as you confidently walk straight into the turnstile bar that will never turn. You might rot to death, but you’ll get a wrist workout your man will surely appreciate.
5. Sail the Seven Seas
Take a relaxing voyage across the seven seas while your Crockpot works its thickening magic back home. You may even come back with some delectable crustaceans to add into your dinner - doesn’t get fresher than that.
4. Watch That Gumbo Cook
If you look closely, you might be able to see your stew bubble through the foggy, wet glass of the Crockpot’s lid. Resist the temptation to take a peek under the lid unless you’re prepared to encounter the steam.
3. Fight A Pack of Wild Dogs
Once your Gumbo has hit the four-hour mark, the fumes of shrimp and whatever the fuck else goes into Gumbo will attract every sort of animal to your door. Only let the dogs inside and get ready to throw down.
2. Have A Conversation With A Wall
This one is perfect because you could literally talk forever and the wall will always be there to support you. The top best walls to interact with would be the one outside of Moore Auditorium, the one across from Dunkin Donuts, or any campus wall made of brick.
1. Do Some Homework
Since your Gumbo takes about as long to cook as it does to graduate with a four-year degree, it’s time to hit the books and finish your final assignment of the semester. You might even have some spare time to take a 2-3 hour long nap.
Now that you’ve experienced a fun-filled day waiting for your Crockpot to make an average, watery soup, you should let your trusted kitchen appliance get some rest. It will need a reboot before you make that Texas Chili recipe your grandma sent you in the mail.