Carpooling With My Roommate to Hookups and 4 Other Easy Ways I’ve Reduced My Carbon Footprint on Campus

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As the effects of global warming intensify, steadily drawing nearer the inevitable demise of the human race, many students might be thinking to themselves, “what minute behaviors can I adopt as a cog in the machine of capitalism to make myself feel better about the fate of the planet?” Look no further, for The Eggplant FSU has compiled a quick and easy list of the habits one of its writers employs to help quell the occasional feeling of complicity in environmental destruction.

  1. Carpooling with my roommate to hookups
    This eco-friendly tip takes a bit of coordinating and guts, but the payoff makes it worth it. All you’ve got to do is find two available, decent-once-the-sun-is-down looking people who live in the same apartment complex and flip a coin with your roommate to decide who gets which one. Once that’s over, you’re well on your way to cutting your carbon emissions in half! Not to mention that you'll be able to have a good time and a long time on this green earth.

  2. Thrift shopping, but by thrift shopping, I mean only expanding your wardrobe with free t-shirts
    Fast fashion is a big yearly contributor to greenhouse gases, so put down that Forever 21 tank top and look around campus for new stylistic opportunities. Odds are, you’ll find an FSU event, contest or flu shot drive willing to give you some article of garnet and gold clothing for your troubles. You’ll save time, money and like, the planet, I guess. Your left arm might hurt a bit after a while, though.

  3. Literally just never leaving my bed
    What others might call “lazy” or “a serious hazard to your success in this course, please improve your rate of attendance or your grade will remain in jeopardy,” I call peak environmental activism. After months of intense research and data collection, I’ve concluded that the more time I spend in bed, the less likely I am to turn on any lights or use any appliances for cooking purposes. You do the math. Checkmate, doomsday.

  4. Repurposing empty juul pods
    Nicotine may or may not necessarily be your thing, but the empty mango juul pods on your roommates desk or strewn about the second floor of Strozier could be of surprising use to you. There are a bunch of ways to put all that plastic to good use, like gluing them together to assemble stylish paperweights to making some DIY juulery. The possibilities are endless!

  5. Salad à la Landis
    You may have heard that going vegan or at least cutting down on meat consumption can drastically lower your contribution to climate change and the continuous depletion of the ozone layer. Well, I haven’t really gotten there yet but what I can recommend is eating in-season, locally sourced produce. And by locally sourced produce I mean....the Landis Green. Just a nibble every now and then. Nothing too crazy. Tastes like school spirit, I promise.

The Eggplant FSU