FSU Tired of Current Union, Gonna Try Again with a Different One: Construction to Finish in 2099

FSU released a statement this morning announcing the start of plans to construct a new and improved union. Starting next week, the current student union will be closed until construction finishes in 2099. “Yeah we lowkey, just like are kind of bored of the new one. So we are using the rest of our education budget to build a new one for funsies. I don’t know man, stop buggin’ twin! It’s gonna be fire trust” said President McCullough in a statement to The Eggplant.

Leaked blueprints revealed some additions to the new and improved student union. A Panda Express, Panera Bread, Starbucks, and a Pollo Tropical are just a few of the excellent restaurants making their way into the new building. There will also be a bookstore with some fun new FSU merch that will be ranging in prices from $90 to a bagillion dollars . “I’m just really glad my great great grandchildren will be able to have a great place to study, eat great food, and be able to get an experience totally unique to college,” said FSU student Gareth, a Media/Communications Studies major. 

This is such a huge win, not just for the Florida State community, but the greater Tallahassee community as well. 2099 is going to be a year to look forward to!