Another Fucking Addition Problem? Academic Pressures Push Business Majors Past Their Limits

FSU students are in the throes of exam season, and naturally, pressure is high. However, there is reportedly an unnaturally high spike in stress levels among students in the College of Business. From lessons on sentence structure and grammar in business communication to classes about how to make a spreadsheet, these students have it rough. “I can’t take it anymore,” said Tyler Bradley, a first-year Finance major. “It’s too hard. I thought I’d be getting straight into stocks and crypto trading.”

“They expect me to be able to add and subtract all these numbers like it’s nothing,” complained Ashley Schmidt, a third-year Accounting student. “How do they think I’m gonna do well with such big numbers if I can’t even count past 10 on my fingers?” Studies show that most business majors just found out they have 10 fingers.

These complex equations are clearly throwing everyone for a loop, and one can only hope they come out on the other side of their exams successfully (and maybe gain an understanding of PEMDAS as a bonus along the way). Alternatively, they could change their major to something less tricky, like Communications, or maybe even Basket Weaving.