In the same voracious way I consume cheap beer and Publix cookies during finals week, Netflix has been chewing up beloved franchises and swallowing the nostalgia of terrified millennials.
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“Whose mans?!” That’s what many casual observers and foreign policy experts were screaming out this morning after President Barack Obama launched one last drone strike to the Waziristan region of Afghanistan so the people there would have something to remember him by.
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On Tuesday night, more than half of American voters were distraught by the results of the election when a misogynist, racist and generally hateful flesh sack of orange dye became the President elect.
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In 2009 when Barack Obama inherited the worst economic situation since the Great Depression, Republicans prophesied absolute chaos due the new president being either the spawn of Satan himself or the second worse thing they could imagine — an immigrant from Africa.
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In an equivalency almost as false as comparing Clinton’s email “scandal” to the literal shitpile of Trump’s hypermasculine posturing, bigotry and rape allegations, Local White Savior and Almighty Gatekeeper of Emotions, Mora Leelite, tweeted “don’t fite hate w/ hate” with a video of peaceful anti-Trump protesters opposing the life-ruining policy propositions and fascism that Trump stands for attached.
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The Obama family watched the Election Night coverage together like every other non-evildoing American family, huddled around a hopeful little bowl nachos and smiling — until the votes came in from Florida. The nation was dumbfounded by Trump’s upset, and Barack Obama squeezed the bridge of his nose as Michelle sadly wiped guacamole from his chin.
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Last Tuesday evening, sitting in an office decorated by a coked out Uncle Sam fetishist, Freedom Caucus Chair Jim Jordan of Ohio watched the election results come in with a blank look on his face.
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With a strong dedication to ruining lives and truly pissing people off, major media outlets have moved to do the psychologically impossible: skipping the first four stages of grief and heading right into a full acceptance of a Trump administration, regardless of how much it will endanger the lives of millions of Americans.
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To our loyal, diverse and passionate readers,
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After a long, grueling and just really fucked up election season that has definitely taken at least five years off everyone’s lives, the nation let out a unanimous sigh of relief as the results of this year’s presidential race were announced on Tuesday. After a long, grueling and just really fucked up election season that has definitely taken at least five years off everyone’s lives, the nation let out a unanimous sigh of relief as the results of this year’s presidential race were announced on Tuesday. After a long, grueling and just really fucked up election season that has definitely taken at least five years off everyone’s lives, the nation let out a unanimous sigh of relief as the results of this year’s presidential race were announced on Tuesday.
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The momentous day has come to decide whether or not this country and the world shall plunge into a molten, stateless wasteland or be subject to seeing the progress of the Obama administration continue. For many Americans, this is the first presidential election in which they will be able to cast their vote but, unfortunately, not all are excited about it.
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Wow, I bet that nerd Nate Silver didn’t see this one coming! >:)
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Late Sunday afternoon, nine-year-old Ralph Watson wandered down the incense aisle of Whole Foods, leaving his mother, father and sister behind while they shopped for an organic Thanksgiving turducken and a ceramic serving bowl imbued with posi vibes.
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With the abundance of scandals plaguing the 2016 election cycle, it’s impossible to talk about Hillary Clinton without discussing her Damn E-Mails™, but there is still more that the media and the Clinton campaign are not sharing.
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Presidential candidate and constant receiver/transmitter of static electricity Bernie Sanders recently gave a speech in Portland during which a tiny bird landed on his podium. This was a small, cute incident with no political significance. So unsurprisingly, it has become a major focal point . . .
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Following Mississippi Governor Phil Bryant (R) signing a bill into law legalizing discrimination against the LBGTQ+ community, FSU President John Thrasher has jumped on the bandwagon of bigotry and signed his own bill into law, effective immediately: . . .
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On Saturday, February 20th, a Donald Trump victory in S.C. coupled with a single-digit performance led Jeb(!) Bush to suspend his campaign indefinitely. Governor Bush was able to maintain poise during his concession speech, but upon returning home . . .
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