Almighty Gatekeeper of Emotions Announces "Don't Fight Hate With Hate;" Solves All Political Unrest

In an equivalency almost as false as comparing Clinton’s email “scandal” to the literal shitpile of Trump’s hypermasculine posturing, bigotry and rape allegations, Local White Savior and Almighty Gatekeeper of Emotions, Mora Leelite, tweeted “don’t fite hate w/ hate” with a video of peaceful anti-Trump protesters opposing the life-ruining policy propositions and fascism that Trump stands for attached. Amidst this frightening time, Leelite has truly done the American public a favor by solving all political unrest and will hopefully tackle the looming problem of a white nationalist being appointed as chief strategist of Trump’s administration.

“You know, I was so ready to continue contacting my representatives, protesting a flawed political system and advocating for the wellbeing of the voiceless, but Mora really showed me the hateful nature of those actions,” said activist-turned-Facebook-commenter-devoid-of-empathy Jennifer Petrov while searching for BuzzFeed articles on how to reconnect with your Trump supporting family member post-election. “I can’t wait to selectively and wrongfully quote Martin Luther King Jr. and Gandhi in passive-aggressive condemnation of anger towards a status quo that not only continues to benefit and protect the same populations over again, but also promotes violence against already-oppressed populations. Trump is our president now, so we ALL have to show him respect. Hoping Trump fails this country is like hoping a captain sinks his ship, or some other false equivalency. We’ve made so many of those that you can choose whichever is the least condescending to basic minority rights!”

Since the end of the election, alt-right conservatives and liberal elitist pacifists alike have worked hard to normalize fascism and turn a blind eye to any and all hypocrisy. Despite defaming Hillary Clinton by repeating the word “email” approximately 55 million times a day, little attention is being placed on the fact that Mike Pence is pushing to keep the contents of his emails private. #NotMyPresident has been criticized endlessly despite the absolutely disgusting protests against Obama’s election. Now that Leelite has clearly defined the parameters for what is considered hatred and melodramatic actions, this normalization and acceptance of hypocrisy will occur at an even quicker rate. Leelite will reportedly ascend to the heavens and sit on their rightful throne as Deity of Justice and Peace when everyone in America begins wearing safety pins on their shirts.


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