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The Eggplant
A Step-By-Step Guide To Finding The Love of Your Life on Tallahassee Tinder
A Step-By-Step Guide To Finding The Love of Your Life on Tallahassee Tinder

It can be difficult to navigate at first, but fear not! Your friends here at The Eggplant are here to help you meet the love of your life.

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The Eggplant FSUNovember 1, 2024
The Types of Parents You’ll See On Parents Weekend
The Types of Parents You’ll See On Parents Weekend

Over the weekend, liquor bottle graveyards will be shoved deep into closets, while  “Tax This Dick” and “Kim Jong Un” flags will be folded and neatly put away until Monday morning

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The Eggplant FSUSeptember 20, 2024
FSU Student Union’s Proof Brewing Co. Opens “Baked", The Marijuana Sister Store
FSU Student Union’s Proof Brewing Co. Opens “Baked", The Marijuana Sister Store

Since the new Student Union opened up, life on FSU’s campus has improved.

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The Eggplant FSUApril 20, 2024
Surviving Burnout and the Search for a Summer Internship and Coping With Seasonal Depression and Oh God We’re All Going To Die
Surviving Burnout and the Search for a Summer Internship and Coping With Seasonal Depression and Oh God We’re All Going To Die

Whether you’re taking 18 credit hours this semester or studying business, burnout has already arrived for a large sum of FSU’s student body this school year despite it just beginning.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 1, 2024
2024 Bingo Card
2024 Bingo Card

Let's take the time now to direct our attention to FSU’s 2024 BINGO CARD.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 25, 2024
‘Tis the Season to be Alone: The 2023 Breakup Season Finally Split Up Everyone You’ve Been Actively Rooting Against
‘Tis the Season to be Alone: The 2023 Breakup Season Finally Split Up Everyone You’ve Been Actively Rooting Against

This shift in breakup season is raising eyebrows everywhere.

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The Eggplant FSUDecember 20, 2023
Let's Talk About Wonka
Let's Talk About Wonka

What does every good movie need?

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The Eggplant FSUDecember 15, 2023
Study Reveals if You Do Yoga on FSU’s Campus, You’re Factually a Better Person Than Everyone Else
Study Reveals if You Do Yoga on FSU’s Campus, You’re Factually a Better Person Than Everyone Else

If you’ve ever been up before 9 AM on a Sunday in Tallahassee, that says a lot of things about you.

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The Eggplant FSUNovember 16, 2023
Horrible! The Plans You Made Last Week Are Today and Now You Have To Follow Through With Them
Horrible! The Plans You Made Last Week Are Today and Now You Have To Follow Through With Them

We’ve all been there

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The Eggplant FSUOctober 6, 2023
FSU International Sued as Students Realize It Doesn’t Cure Depression
FSU International Sued as Students Realize It Doesn’t Cure Depression

This fairy tale experience has recently been exposed as FSU International Programs faces a class action lawsuit from its former students.

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The Eggplant FSUOctober 3, 2023
What Should I Actually Do Over the Summer?
What Should I Actually Do Over the Summer?

Sick of scrolling through sad Tik Tok slideshows every night?

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The Eggplant FSUJune 12, 2023
BREAKING: The Funniest, Smartest, Sexiest Staff Writer is Graduating!
BREAKING: The Funniest, Smartest, Sexiest Staff Writer is Graduating!

Oh Eggplant, where do I even begin?

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The Eggplant FSUMay 5, 2023
Op-ed: Can We Stop Pretending the Food at 1851 Is Actually Good?
Op-ed: Can We Stop Pretending the Food at 1851 Is Actually Good?

A lot of credit is owed to the marketing geniuses behind the conglomerate of food options located at 1851.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 25, 2023
First-years Forced To Do Laundry in Landis Fountain
First-years Forced To Do Laundry in Landis Fountain

Ah yes, the quintessential coming-of-age moment for freshmen dorm crawlers residents -- doing laundry without mommy for the first time.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 24, 2023
Op-ed: Hey Starbucks, Maybe Think Twice About Charging Extra for Milk Substitutes
Op-ed: Hey Starbucks, Maybe Think Twice About Charging Extra for Milk Substitutes

I have many qualms with Starbucks.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 17, 2023
Op-ed: Could I Hypothetically Sue the University if I Theoretically Fell Down an Unlit Staircase, Suppositionally?
Op-ed: Could I Hypothetically Sue the University if I Theoretically Fell Down an Unlit Staircase, Suppositionally?

The Americans with Disability Act passed through the Senate with vast bipartisan support and was signed by George H.W. Bush in 1990.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 16, 2023
An Open Letter to the People Who Don’t Shut the Fuck up Upstairs in Strozier
An Open Letter to the People Who Don’t Shut the Fuck up Upstairs in Strozier

It’s the night before your big exam and you haven’t studied one bit.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 10, 2023
So, You Waved to Your Friend on Campus and They Didn’t See You. Here’s How to Cope:
So, You Waved to Your Friend on Campus and They Didn’t See You. Here’s How to Cope:

Picture this: You’re walking on campus, headed to your next class (I know, already a bit of a stretch, but stay with me here).

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The Eggplant FSUJanuary 23, 2023
Op-ed: My Favorite Places to Park on Campus
Op-ed: My Favorite Places to Park on Campus

This one is for all the freshmen who are still new to campus. I hope you know that you are the reason why the parking situation sucks ass!

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The Eggplant FSUJanuary 18, 2023
Op-ed: Turns Out You Shouldn’t Trust Everyone After Meeting Them Once!
Op-ed: Turns Out You Shouldn’t Trust Everyone After Meeting Them Once!

Recent events have been haunting me.

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The Eggplant FSUNovember 15, 2022
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