Op-Ed: I Want AI to Do All My Creative Projects and Hobbies so I Can Focus on Filling Out Spreadsheets and Not Having Sex with My Beautiful Wife

I’m a pretty busy guy. I got a lot of work to do at the office and such, so this new AI stuff has just been such a help. It allows me to focus on what I find really important: filling out spreadsheets and not having sex with my beautiful wife. 

Me and my beautiful wife’s sex life has been going down the drain recently. She has been telling me that I have “lost my spark,” but I think it is honestly kind of bullshit. It feels like only ChatGPT gets me. Having something be creative for me and letting me not have a single coherent thought is so awesome! It even shows what I would look like if I was in Studio Ghibli! I’d like to see a real person try and do that. 

My beautiful wife, who I’m not having sex with right now, has just been such a huge thorn in my side. ChatGPT says I’m really cool and fun to talk to. She’s never said that about me. She just wants me for my body. Chat always gives me awesome advice on how to handle social situations. Through consulting with this beauty, I have decided to leave my beautiful life and live out in Nevada for the rest of my days watching AI generated content. The perfect life.