Dr. Leonard Minione, an actuarial science professor at Florida State, was in the middle of a lecture in his differential equations class when he stopped to show a YouTube clip of Schoolhouse Rock: Math Stuff and delayed the class for twenty-five minutes while he tried to figure out “how to make the noise go.” “I swear I watched the video at home and it had sound. Then I get to the classroom and technology just turns on me. This stuff has got a mind of its own,” explained Minione as he held his iPhone 6 Plus an entire arm’s length in front of him and sent a smiley face to his wife using a colon and a parentheses with a dash in between. “I believe technology is a force NOT to be reckoned with anyway. I warn my dog every day to be very wary of all this Facebook mumbo jumbo. It’s all a ploy by the government to get our information and use it against us.”
“The problem was the YouTube volume was turned up but his computer volume was muted. We kept trying to point this out to him but he just kept minimizing and maximizing the page and ignoring what we were saying,” said Courtney Wellers, a student in the Actuarial Science program and an incredibly dull conversationalist who once turned one of the Mormon missionaries on campus away with her anecdotal stories of her cat. “This isn’t that surprising to me, though. Dr. Minione is pretty smart, but every single class he mutters ‘How much time do we have left?’ only to stop class more than a minute before the bell. Talk about a bad investment!”
Minione finally figured out the volume problem with the help of his T.A. and went on to play the video. In an unsurprising turn of events, when the video ended and Minione clicked back into his slideshow, the YouTube autoplay feature played the next related video and Minione, unable to figure out “where the heck that noise is coming from,” dismissed the class and retired from teaching to dedicate his entire life to stopping technology once and for all.