Overly Enthusiastic FSU Tour Guide Tattoos Campus Map on Back


Describing himself as by far the most dedicated member of the University Ambassadors Program and the only one who he even knows what a true Nole is, overly enthusiastic tour guide Mario Nguyen confirmed Tuesday that he did in fact get a campus map tattooed on his back. “From the minute I toured FSU in high school, I knew that being a campus tour guide was my destiny,” said second year senior Nguyen while carefully placing a folded pair of khaki trousers into a drawer filled with more khaki trousers. “Each year, I would apply to become an ambassador and every time I was denied. Then I had the genius idea to get this map tattooed on my back just like the guy from that show Prison Break, not that I watch Prison Break. Please don’t tell people I watch Prison Break.”

When asked why Nguyen was chosen to be hired for such a prestigious job, head of the program Gale McGrady explained that it was really just a mixture of pity and fear. “Nguyen has always been really fixated on this job for some reason and it came off as borderline psychotic. Then one day he comes in showing off his tattoo and screaming about Prison Break. I thought it would be safer for everyone if we just let him in.”

Nguyen, meanwhile, is thrilled even though they only let him give tours to drifters, students who got off at the wrong bus stop, and tourists from out of state who think this is the college that Tim Tebow went to. “I have always been told that if you want something to happen, you have to take matters into your own hands,” said Nguyen. “So that’s why I also got a list of fun facts about FSU tattooed on my palms. It might not get me a job after graduation, but at least it makes the one I have now really easy.”