Jameis Winston Mistakenly Wears Full Pads to Class


Heisman trophy winning quarterback Jameis Winston walked into his early morning history class on Monday wearing full shoulder pads and a helmet. According to reports, he stayed in uniform until Jimbo Fisher showed up to tell him to get the fuck out and to take his damn pads off again. The incident marked the second time in three days Winston has made such a mistake after he showed up on the field at the Clemson game warming up with the team, fully dressed-out, in hopes that everyone would just forget about his suspension by the time the game started. Winston’s professor, Dr. Allie Snyder, was not amused. “Not only did Jameis have the arrogance to walk into class dressed for a football game to the huge distraction of everyone else in the room, but he also completely ignored the fact that I kicked him out of class weeks ago,” said Dr. Snyder while still trying to hold back tears at the memory of what Jameis said during the class discussion of the women’s suffrage movement.

After being sent out by Coach Fisher, Jameis was told that he could no longer participate in the class. However, he is allowed to observe the class from the side of the room and make over-the-top reactions every time something interesting happens. ESPN will be installing a camera in the room pointed at Jameis’ sideline seat so that viewers don’t miss a minute of the action.

Jameis Winston’s spot in the class roster has been replaced by none other than Sean “Macdaddy” Maguire, who will be making his first ever appearance in a history course. “I know I have big shoes to fill replacing Jameis in this classroom,” said Maguire, “but with the help of Coach Fisher and the inspiration from looking over at Jameis’ reactions to everything I do, I think I can handle the pressure.”