Inconsiderate Squirrel Refuses to Take Acorns Out of Mouth During Conversation

Woodland creatures have been left appalled and embarrassed after a local squirrel reportedly spent the entirety of a conversation refusing to remove the acorns from his mouth, despite multiple opportunities to do so. Eyewitnesses claim that the squirrel, known around town as David, approached a group of his peers by the big oak tree, eager to talk about new winter storage strategies, with cheeks ready to burst.

“We were having a perfectly reasonable conversation about our favorite highways to cross when David sauntered up,” said fellow squirrel Anne. “We all tried to ignore the nuts, but he kept butting in to the conversation with unintelligible ‘mmphfs.’” After a member of the group finally spoke up to David, demanding that he take the acorns out of his mouth, he muffled something to the effect of “You can’t have them. They’re mine,” turned tail, and ran.

David’s lack of manners has made waves throughout the woodland community, even prompting a formal response from his family. “We are deeply shocked and disappointed by David’s recent behavior,” said his parents in a written statement. “We didn’t raise him to be some kind of animal.” Shortly thereafter, they were both brutally killed by an owl, one of squirrels' natural predators.