FSU Student Who Thinks He's Better Than Everyone Takes Unnecessary Voluntourist Trip to TCC Over Break

Winter break is usually a time where students are either getting drunk in an Airbnb with high school friends already deleted from Facebook or taking expensive cruises to every country their dads are trying to keep out of the United States. Luckily, the Center for Leadership & Social Change offers a #unique opportunity for those who love service and believe that they are way too good to go to a community college. For Josh Martin, an FSU freshman who went to a private school and had his stepmom write all of his Common App essays, this was a perfect way to learn more about one of the two other institutions in Tallahassee that everyone is shocked to find out exists outside of Walmart merchandise and that penis building by the capitol.

“I wanted to expand my horizons while learning something about myself and a community that I’m not a part of in the most problematic way possible. I'm from big boy university, so I know I'm immediately better than someone who could easily have  a higher GPA than I do right now," reasoned Martin while taking a selfie with a confused TCC freshman to post on his Facebook for several validating heart reacts. "There's just something so refreshing about visiting abroad off West Pensacola Street. I feel disconnected from the toxic energy surrounding FSU's campus. There's also no old men holding signs that say 'Hell is hot, don't be a thot' anywhere near here. It’s like the entire campus is in another era. It’s beautiful."

"This loser came up to me after my class and asked 'how I could live in conditions like this.' I was really confused because we don't have cigarettes or random cans of Natty Light thrown everywhere around our campus," commented junior Jane Miller as she photobombed one of Martin's pictures with both middle fingers. "I checked out his Instagram and all he posts about is getting drunk with his bros. I have a 4.0 and I'm graduating a year early without any debt. I'm way better off than this chungus taking Baby Bio for the third time with a 2.1 GPA. Just because I didn't take AP classes or want to spend eight times as much on the same type of education doesn't mean I'm any less smart."

At the end of the day, we all having lifelong addictions to Starbucks coffee and are suffering under the several years long scam that is higher education. As for Josh Martin, he eventually left to try and bribe the bouncer at Pot’s with Juul pods to band him over in true Seminole tradition. His trip to the other side of town didn’t garner him any new personal self-discoveries, but he did leave with one valuable lesson: it doesn’t matter which institution your money is mercilessly guzzled into, because TCC and FSU students are just the same and trying to survive in this disgusting cesspool of a college town.

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