Uh Oh! Quiplash Revealed the Racist Friend!

Jackbox Games have long stood as the king of party games. It becomes very apparent if you and your friends are funny and a race to see who jokes about cum first. Sometimes though, things can spiral when someone thinks they’re the next Awkwafina and gets a little controversial in the final round. Now, everyone is trying to figure out which friend nicknamed themselves “Mommy Milker” and submitted such a shitty joke.

“No, my nickname was ‘Dick Guzzlin’ and I submitted the sexist response. I would never be racist,” explained allegedly racist friend Mikey Adams. “That was a real vibe killer. I really wish we just kept piling on answers about dicks, boobs, and our deepest insecurities, but there’s always someone who has to make it political or about race. I miss the days when someone would say something so batshit inappropriate that everyone needs to awkwardly laugh for a minute then promptly bleach the memory from their minds. Damn, remember when you could be awful and there were no ‘keyboard warriors’? Life’s no fun anymore…”

“What!? I’m allowed to make jokes about Asian people! I’m half Scottish! Wait, I mean I’m a quarter Belgian. Wait, I uh-” stammered half Scottish, quarter Beligan, two-ninths French, and two-thirds Bonafide White friend Theo Einstein. “It’s just a joke! It’s no biggie and a one-off about [extremely graphic humanitarian crisis] that always gets a giggle! None of us in that room were Asian so why are we even getting offended? I have sooooo many Asian friends. We’re here to have a good time. Actually, if you think about it, it’s kinda fucked that you’re shitting on my joke at an entire group of people’s expense. If you’re not Asian, you don’t get to decide it’s offensive. Ever think about that?” He trailed off while placing his homemade race card back in his pocket.

Theo has since been banned from Jackbox night, with the exemption of Murder Trivia Party games. There’s no submissions in that game so it’s a lot harder, but not completely impossible, to be racist. Plus, it’s the most fun one so it would be unfair to leave him out. Theo swears he’s going to turn over a new leaf and really reflect and change before next Friday’s game night. These kinds of changes do take some time after all.