Todd Announces Launch of Scüber, A Rideshare App Where You Hop on the Back of His Scooter

In this economy, there are few certainties. Trends come and go, markets boom and bust; there's constant turnover. Only the bravest among us venture to dive in headfirst and risk everything to build the modern world’s most innovative and revolutionary companies. Thousands, if not hundreds, of these entrepreneurial bravehearts fade out of obscurity before even making it off the launchpad.One of those wealthy entrepreneurs who hopes to ascend to the status of Musk, Jobs and Bezos and join the ranks of men whose names sound like supervillains, is FSU business student, Todd “Todd” Baskins, who recently unveiled his new rideshare app, Scüber, that offers rides on the back of his scooter.

“In the business world, it’s all about what you can bring to the economy that’s new. Sure, there are other rideshares that have pretty much already saturated the market, but how many of them let you ride on my sick broped with a College Republicans sticker on it?” Baskins said in his announcement speech to four of his friends in the parking lot outside the Rovetta Business Building.  "It’s the next logical step for the industry. Look at the most common clientele: drunk college students. What better way to sober up than having the wind blow through your hair as you speed down West Tennessee Street at 45mph. Plus, you don’t have to worry about throwing up inside some stranger’s car because there is no inside. That's some Zuckerberg-level innovation here.”

"It's not every day you come across a genius like this. Todd came up with the idea when he picked up another drunk guy outside of a party instead of me," reported Trevor Wheeler, Baskin's lead investor and fellow moped-owner, as he checked the Stock Market app to see if Scüber already made it big. "Using your personal vehicle to make money is such a sick idea. I wish I was smart enough to come up with that. I was on board before he even finished explaining it to me. An app that lets you call for a free ride?! That's why I agreed to give him 40,000 of my dad's dollars."

Scüber is set to launch this weekend, just in time to charge exorbitant surge pricing for the next disappointing football game. Todd has prepared for the large amounts of patronage he expects to receive by wiping down his scooter seat with a single, dry paper towel, stocking up on the most disgusting mints he could find at CVS and buying a shirt that says “Hotties ride free.” If you plan on getting so shitfaced that even your last tenth of a brain cell tells you to take a break, just know that you can always catch a safe ride with Scüber.             

The Eggplant FSU