Man Adds Empty Bottles of Alcohol on Top of Cabinet for Finishing Touches to Apartment


The start of the school year marks a time where everyone excitedly moves into their new overpriced homes and swarm the obscenely fresh, shiny and tiny Target built on the corpse of Coliseum. It means moving to a space you'll definitely have to pay damages for at the end of your lease – probably for having a bunch of people over that pretend like they didn't just spill two gallons of jungle juice on your carpet – which is perfectly fine since you're able to decorate it however you want. But for Ryland Abergaine, an eager sophomore moving into an apartment complex filled with other cool kids who love to get drunk on a Monday, it's all about the minimal and unoriginal effort for designing his dream pad.

"I'm just excited to be living in my own apartment with my bros and not in a dorm. Now, I don't have to live in fear of having my collection of shitty plastic Sköl containers confiscated at any moment's notice," said Abergaine as he adjusted the only decoration in his living room, a "Saturday Is For The Boys" flag, slightly more toward his political alignment, the right. "My roommates and I have no idea what else to put up besides the bottles we collected from drinking every waking hour during the summer. We're probably going to put up a Juul pod graveyard in the corner, right next to this pile of beer cans we don't plan on recycling."

"I visited Ryland's apartment and immediately could tell that these guys clearly know how to turn up. All I have at my place is cute knick knacks and eleven signs that all read 'live, laugh, love,'" commented interior design major and HGTV-enthusiast Abby Marfeld, who couldn't believe the amount of feng shui energy that exuded from Abergaine's unique display of bottles. "I can't wait until I'm forty and my partner has bottles of hard liquor on top of our suburban two story, five bedroom and four bathroom house for all of our kid's parents to see on playdates."

For guys who are seen exclusively drinking the lowest tier of beer all the time, it sure is surprising to see handles of $13 and $18 liquor everywhere. But you have to admit, it does bring out the entire thrown-together aesthetic. There's just something inviting about looking like a place featured on TotalFratMove.

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