Fear struck the hearts of, maybe, two dozen people last Thursday when the passengers of Bilver Bairways flight BV128 realized that their commute from Tallahassee to Ft. Lauderdale would be facilitated by propeller plane. While the pilot remained confident in his ability to pioneer the journey, the flight attendant aboard the small aircraft, Angela Cornfee, was clearly uneasy. Cornfee was reported to have been crying on the phone to an unspecified loved one approximately 20 feet from the gate before boarding began. Her worries revolved around the inevitability of a bird flying into one of the propellers, the plane crashing and bursting into flames and there being a horrible headshot of hers on display when the news coverage airs the following day.
The flight landed successfully allowing passenger Tanya Jackson to comment on the ongoings of the navigation. “Yeah, that flight attendant seemed pretty on edge. After I heard her sobbing about the bird flying into the propeller I found myself in a Google search spiral about all recorded deaths related to propeller planes,” explained Jackson as she snapped her first “back 2 SoFla” selfie. “Her in-flight safety demonstration was weird though; she ended it by having us all join hands in non-denominational prayer to make sure we covered all the bases.”
Torn between gratitude for the gift of another day and anger at The Man’s blatant disrespect for her place in this world Cornfee explained, “I can’t believe my boss would risk my life in this way. I have been a faithful sky waitress for the past two decades of my life. I have seniority and then they schedule me to be the only attendant on board a propeller plane.” Cornfee began to weep as she drafted her letter of resignation, “Although we arrived safely, this incident has proven to me just how little they value me as an employee and as a person.”
The resignation will be effective as of November 28th, 2017 even though Cornfee requested an immediate release from her responsibilities of passing our pretzels and listening to grown men complain about leg room. Representatives from Bilver Bairways are expected to appear in court next week to defend themselves against the lawsuit proposed by Ms. Cornfee. A handful of the passengers will be called into question as witnesses of the stress and agitation caused by proximity to the plane. Bilver Bairways refused to comment on the court proceedings but seemed optimistic in the fact that all they asked was for Cornfee to literally do her job.