FSU Announces New Major: Sendonomics; Every Frat Guy Changes Major

In an effort to continue their academic domination, FSU has announced the opening of a new major called Sendonomics. A statement released by the university says, “We look forward to developing all of our young thinkers and academic champions into champions of the Send.” President Richard McCullough says that he is thrilled to welcome Sendonomics to campus, and that “those wannabe sendy SEC schools ain’t got nothing like this!” He then shotgunned a Four Loko and did the griddy. 

Spearheading the program are acclaimed podcasters and thinkers, The Nelk Boys. Leader of the Nelk, Kyle Forgeard, was seen christening the newly built College of Sendiness Building by rubbing coke above the door of each classroom. Unfortunately, it didn’t stay there long, as Stevewilldoit followed behind, snorting the blessings up like a vacuum. A variety of classes are being offered within the major, such as The Art of the Send, Shotgunning 101, and Drinking Game Rules So You Don’t Look Like an Idiot Having the Rules Explained to You at the Function. The most highly enrolled class, however, goes to Podcasting with a War Criminal.

Since the announcement, quite literally every fraternity member on campus rushed to change their major to this new program. Josh Riggs, a fraternity brother at Sigma Sigma Sigma, tells us that the major change was a no-brainer. He says, “I was a couple credits away from graduating with a degree in finance, but I wanted to stay just a bit longer.” Riggs is an 11th year senior. Sadly, many students were denied entry into the major. On every denial letter, only two words were written: “No Motion.” We will provide updates on how many denied students sign up for therapy.