Freshman in ENC 2135 Finally Bites: “Okay, What's a Genre?”
With finals week in full swing, many students at FSU are scrambling to activate their three remaining brain cells to condense the knowledge of a whole semester into a few hours overnight in Strozier. Some students are fully confident in their ability to succeed and pass with flying colors… fuckers. Others, however, are woefully unprepared to tackle even the most surface-level concepts of their courses. One freshman has found himself completely lost in preparation for his entry-level composition class, finally building up the courage to ask: “Okay, what's a genre?”
“My first semester of college has been a real eye-opening experience,” admitted the poor boy Dillan Jent as he dug through the four feet of filth on his dorm room floor looking for his Bedford Book of Genres. “I get that I maybe should have paid attention more, but to be honest, how was I supposed to stay alert in an 11 am class? Being hungover from going to Pot's literally every night of the past four months probably didn't help either. Plus, everyone else seemed to know what a “jahn-ra” was. What was I supposed to do? Ask a simple question? Go to an office hour? Miss me with that nerd shit. I'd rather completely avoid being productive in any way, fail the final miserably and then email the teacher begging her to raise my grade from a 35 to a B-.”
“Yeah, I have no sympathy for that kid,” answered ENC 2135 graduate TA Jess Winslow, focussing her energy on prepping for her upcoming dissertation on things that actually matter. “I personally don't care if he passes the class. I mean, how do you even get this far without ever hearing the term 'genre.' I know my degree isn't the most applicable thing on the planet, but come on. I feel like anyone attending university needs to understand basic written communication and nuance, and - sorry to tell you - but if you can’t even figure out what the name of the class means, the rest of college probably won’t go well for you. I'm just glad to be finished dealing with these freshmen who think they can keep passing off their papers from AP Lang as original or even remotely relevant.”
Despite knowing absolutely nothing about the written word, Jent will still show up to Williams at 5:30pm on Wednesday with all the confidence of a raccoon stealing from a picnic. Only time will tell how long it takes him to figure out that he doesn't even have a final in that class, and that the final paper, which he would have known about had he shown up to class ever, was due Monday.