Marching Chiefs Announce Trip to France Upon Remembering “World Renowned” Means You Should Leave the Country Once Every 20 Years

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Nothing screams football like the warbled groans of FSU’s very own Marching Chiefs as they're told to play the War Chant for the 93rd time in one quarter. In anticipation for their upcoming trip to Normandy next summer, these musicians now plan to run around the football field screaming "Hon Hon Hon Baguette" instead of the usual squeaks from woodwinds and powerful harmonic toots from the brass section. With less than a year until D-Day, the Marching Chiefs are ready to take on the challenge of representing FSU internationally.

“Our marching band hasn't left the country since Saved by the Bell and Full House were airing and it's about time we show the world what being a Chief really means,” commented grad instructor Carl Cadenza, while eagerly flipping through a "How to Not Fuck Things Up Internationally for Dummies" book. “We should be taking art students to have them ogle over some of those weird naked marble statues or history majors who will inflict random bits of trivia on us at any given moment.. Instead, however, we’re taking a group of Chiefs who can’t play Rick Astley’s ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’ as a stand tune correctly. Just today, I overheard a group of trumpet players debating about tonguing techniques in French, and they definitely weren’t discussing said techniques in reference to their playing. This is going to be an international disaster."

“We're Marching Chiefs All The Damn Time wherever we go around the United States, so it's no surprise that we get to do it across the ocean. The only difference is there's an accented 'é' in Chiefs now for added flavor,” said self-proclaimed music virtuoso Christian Lento as he aggressively blared the entire discography of the only French artist most people know, Stromae, on his sousaphone. "My section and I are ready to take on France. The legal drinking age there is 18, which is definitely going to kick off some shenanigans that won’t involve any intervention from FSUPD for so-called 'underaged drinking.' After all, everything's legal in Europe besides kissing on train platforms and naming your pig after Napoleon."

Even though it's proven difficult for the Marching Chiefs to drive outside of Florida without their overstuffed buses breaking down, this group of overenthusiastic and excessively exhausted musicians plan to travel on the cheapest and crappiest flight available to help them experience the same feeling 25,000 feet above sea level. While it has yet to be confirmed if the full 420-member band will be attending, many members of the world-renowned marching band hope to let snobs all over France that they CAN, in fact, hang.

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