Melody Ramirez’s heart skipped a beat early Wednesday afternoon when Dalton Stevens, a guy she had a one night stand with, politely nodded at her when they made eye contact in the Union. While this drunken tryst of undetermined length (sources report that Melody considered it “kinda short” while Dalton reportedly “broke a new personal record”) happened months earlier, Ramirez is holding out hope for their imagined coupling “like how Jon Snow (RIP) and the redhead he went down on (also RIP) are totally dating in real life now.” “You don’t understand. He was listening to music, too,” Ramirez said whilst posting vague romantic personal posts on her Grey’s Anatomy fan Tumblr. “He was probably on his way to the gym, listening to the new fire Drake tracks and getting in the zone, but he still managed to take the time to not only a) notice me but b) nod to indicate that he noticed me. It’s a classic meet-cute scenario. I feel so good about this.”
“I think she has a pretty good shot with him,” said Ramirez’s best friend Liz Bhansali, cringing and watching Ramirez Facebook-stalk Stevens. “If it makes her happy then I’m happy! She has a shot probably! Definitely! Hopefully!”
“He was just in a hurry and just didn’t have time to say hey. He gave off a vibe that said ‘wow I really want Melody to text me,’” Ramirez said, trying to craft the perfect text that to show off her fun and flirty side and maintain that classic Ramirez charm all while not sounding too desperate. She has also begun curating a Spotify playlist in tribute to Stevens, titled “for him <3” which somehow includes love songs by both Ginuwine and The Lumineers. “I need a man who can do both,” she remarked, jamming to “Pony” and writing “Mrs. Stevens” repeatedly in her notebook.
Stevens, when asked about Ramirez, reportedly remarked that he thought her name was “Megan” and that she “was a decent lay” and that he will “totally text her back and have sex with her again and then call her clingy and never talk to her again.”