Professor Just Sweaty Enough to Make it Weird


Students of Professor Joshua Chen’s speech class have come to the conclusion that Professor Chen is officially sweaty enough to make class weird. According to student accounts it is mostly because even on days that require a minimum of four layers to stay warm, he still comes through looking like he just ran a marathon through Death Valley in the middle of July. “The worst part is that when you’re talking to him you know that you both are thinking about it,” explained sophomore Lucy Campbell while attempting to get the imagery of her professor’s sweat stains, which she swears she once saw the face of the Virgin Mary in, out of her mind. “It’s impossible to ignore the shame and embarrassment in his eyes. It reminds me of my father.”

The students have begun working with the building maintenance team to create conditions that make teaching more comfortable for Professor Chen, including dropping the temperature of the classroom to a cozy 45 degrees Fahrenheit, allowing him to wear jorts and still keeping out a few “Wet Floor” signs, just in case.

“I would rather take the hit and lose both of my big toes to frostbite than run the risk of accidentally calling him Sir Sweaty again,” confirmed another one of Chen’s students. “He shouldn’t live his life with his arms by his sides. Lift your arms, Professor Chen. Be free. We can handle the cold.”