French Red Cross: “We Don’t Accept Donations In Profile Picture Filters Or Hashtags”

In the wake of the tragic terrorist attacks in Paris, the French Red Cross is refuting the overwhelmingly popular consensus that putting filters on profile pictures or tweeting about how sad you are about the tragedy with the hashtag “#PrayForParis” actually helps support Parisians in need. Despite the seemingly obvious fact that clicking a button will not bring back lives lost, offer shelter to those displaced from their homes or do anything other than serve one’s own ego and conscience, “concerned” individuals across the country remain convinced that they have done their part. “I’m truly devastated by what I’ve seen on the news,” said junior Jessica Sturbridge, trying to figure out which croissant photo on her phone best conveyed mourning. “That’s why I’ve spent most of this weekend going through my Paris photos and finding potential #TBTs, prints for my apartment and fillers for my ‘je t’aime’ photo frame. Wait, what were we talking about again?”

“We know you’re all in mourning and feel helpless. We feel even worse, obviously,” said French Red Cross President Jean-Jacques Eledjam. “But putting a filter over your profile picture that you’re just going to change in a few weeks to reflect whatever horrible tragedy or progressive Supreme Court decision comes next helps no one. Spread correct information, donate if you can and most importantly remember that we don’t give a shit that you were just here six months ago studying abroad.”

The French Red Cross would like to remind everyone that use of the tragedy to promote a political agenda or to shame people for simultaneously caring about other ongoing political issues also counts as a $0 donation and pretty much just makes you a dick.

To donate to Paris, please visit ifrc.org or soutenir.croix-rouge.fr.