Local Group With Underage Friend Stands Unsure Outside Bar


Last Saturday night, a group of local students made a wise choice to skip the Side Bar's Ying Yang Twins show and try their luck at a bar where normal people go. Leaving the pregame moderately buzzed or possibly just acting that way, 19-year-old friend Kelly Langford felt a little anxious about the group's decision to go to Bullwinkle’s. But due to the crippling pressure to not ruin the night by being born a couple of years later than everyone else, Kelly confidently handed the bouncer her I.D. Despite her heroism, she was immediately turned away. “It was pretty hard to watch. They all just backed up and stood a few feet away from me. But I can’t let an underage person into Bull’s. That would be unethical,” said bouncer C.J. Brown, accepting an extra $10 from a baby and slipping an ‘OVER 21’ band around his hospital bracelet.

The group fell apart. “It was more uncomfortable than that time Kyle brought up that thing that happened with Lindsey in front of Marissa. Oh man, that was so awkward,” explained of age friend Kristin Moore, searching Tinder on the girl seeking girl setting for more of age girls to hang out with.

In another courageous act, Kyle Brookes finally found the solution. “I knew we couldn’t keep standing there, so I asked, ‘What should we do now?’ Really, I’m no hero. I was just doing what needed to be done. ”

After deciding that the only thing worse than getting turned away from the bar is letting strangers watch you cope with the aftermath of getting turned away from the bar, Kelly decided to just get Gumby’s and go home to cry. “Honestly, this is how the night would have ended anyway,” she said. “The way I see it, I just got a head start.”