A new study conducted by sophomore Alex Golden found that even though Julie is pulling some straight bullshit with that new profile picture of her and some guy she met over the summer, the psychology building is still colder than her black hole of a heart. “I definitely knew it was going to be a close call,” explained Golden while burning his last remaining picture of Julie in order to keep himself warm before his Abnormal Psychology class let in. “She’s a stone cold bitch, but this building gives that ice queen a run for her money.”
Insiders hinted that the Florida State psychology building is kept at a comfortable 57 degrees to provide at least one source of collegiate turmoil for the cakewalk of a major. “This was the only fair option,” argued salty biology-turned-exercise-science major Ted. “In no universe would it make sense for them to get to be comfortable while they learn that correlation does not equal causation for the 800th time while sitting in a supposedly 4000 level class.”
Golden was confident with his theory that the psychology building is in fact colder than the Julie’s heart, up until administration announced that they will be turning the heat on for the winter months. That news, coupled with Julie’s most recent snapchat of her kissing her new boyfriend while wearing one of Golden’s old t-shirts led him to the conclusion that a retest is necessary.
“This one is a surefire confirmation,” cheered Golden before sobbing so hard he threw up in a bush.