After sustaining almost continuous laughter for nearly five minutes straight while discussing their most recent sexual exploits, a local quirky friend group has decided that their interactions with one another are just too good to not share with the entire Internet. The podcast, or “SquadCast” as they’re calling it, will feature English Majors Kim Kelly, Kaylie Hooper, Sally Draper, and Laura Palmer discussing a myriad of topics which range from dating, to going out, to Oscar nominations, of which the group has seen only How to Train Your Dragon 2.
“I mean yeah, we’ve always been really unique and funny,” remarked Hooper while browsing Tumblr for a solid text post to steal and repost on Yik Yak. “Last week at Yogurt Mountain, we made like three strangers laugh after we wouldn’t stop calling it YoMo. Isn’t that so clever? YoMo!!! We thought of it, like literally ask anybody we are so funny.”
Despite the squad’s enthusiasm for their podcast, it wasn’t always their first choice of medium. “Yeah, originally we were going to do a reality show because we’re definitely pretty enough for TV.” said Kelly. “And then Laura matched with a guy from the FSU film school on Tinder so we thought we were in. But then the pretentious douche unmatched her when she asked him to quit his BFA film to direct our show full time. Honestly, FUCK the film school.”
All minor setbacks aside, the girls will continue with the production of SquadCast as planned. “Sure, we’re a little worried that nobody listens to podcasts for real,” confided Draper. “But people were obsessed with that woman’s podcast about breakfast cereal, right? There’s no way they won’t want to hear four girls with hot voices talk about kale smoothies and Harry Styles’ man bun.”