In an attempt to prove mediocre country bands that pander to the worst sections of the student body are not what this school is about, university officials announced Tuesday they have hired Childish Gambino to perform on campus in April.
”Fuck Florida Georgia Line” says FSU President Eric Barron. “They only had like one song. I’m starting to get pretty god damn tired of hiring artists that only cater to this university’s worst taste in music, we can do better. I mean have you guys heard Because the Internet? That album is the shit.”
The upcoming Childish Gambino performance signifies a trend for the university to appeal to a more culturally aware and less racist segment of the student population.
"Maybe the guy who spends every weekend at Bullwinkles and drives around with a confederate flag in the back of his truck isn’t who we should be trying to schedule all of our biggest concerts for" says the FSU Student Government Association.
"Hopefully students will show up for this concert" the SGA explains, "or else we’ll just have Billy Ray Cyrus perform for Homecoming next year."