Biology Major Smokes Weed for First Time
According to reports, 22 year old biology major and self-proclaimed “adorkable” nerd Jasmine Pillar smoked cannabis for the first time Saturday as a direct result of peer pressure.
When asked about her experience, Pillar said she was “no longer a straight edge loser,” although she is pretty sure she did it wrong and didn’t get high. Nonetheless, immediately following her marijuana hits Pillar ordered tickets to see Slightly Stoopid and has allegedly stopped washing her hair in attempt to grow dreads because she’s “into that now.”
When asked to comment on Pillar’s first cannabis experience, FSU president Eric Barron said “We’re thrilled that Pillar successfully dodged pot peer-pressure for almost her entire four years at The Florida State University, but also a little embarrassed that as a Biology major she couldn’t even smoke a plant correctly.”
Pillar’s pot plans for the future include but are not limited to continuing to incorrectly smoke weed out of a water bottle bong, overpaying for only a gram of weed at a time, and maybe even a last minute spring break pilgrimage to Jamaica to “smoke dat dank ass kush with Bob Marley’s ghost.”