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The Eggplant
Styx Parties at Roboto Tokyo Grill Like It’s 1983
Styx Parties at Roboto Tokyo Grill Like It’s 1983

Mr. Roboto Tokyo Grill, best known for giving college kids food comas and the second-best time of their weekend, has four locations in the Tallahassee area alone.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 28, 2022
Do Not Come: “NOLA” Residents Beg Annoying College Students
Do Not Come: “NOLA” Residents Beg Annoying College Students

Every year, flocks of drunken and overly excited college students all race to see who can go to New Orleans the most.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 6, 2022
Bajas To Host Valentine’s Day Slow Dance
Bajas To Host Valentine’s Day Slow Dance

Here it is, another article reminding you that the day of love is fast approaching with a vengeance, and you can’t escape it no matter how hard you scroll through your feed.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 14, 2022
So Are We All Just Going to Pretend That Kodak Black Didn’t Almost Get Murdered Last Time He Was in Tallahassee?
So Are We All Just Going to Pretend That Kodak Black Didn’t Almost Get Murdered Last Time He Was in Tallahassee?

Kodak Black, famous for assaulting a teenage girl in 2016, will be making his triumphant return to Tallahassee after not one, but two near-death experiences in April of 2021.

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The Eggplant FSUJanuary 26, 2022
Op-Ed: The Four Points Is Ugly and It Is Ruining My Life
Op-Ed: The Four Points Is Ugly and It Is Ruining My Life

We all probably knew Tallahassee wasn’t going to make it on Travel.com’s “Top Ten Prettiest Capitals that Don’t Deserve to be Capitals,” but it’s far from an ugly place.

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The Eggplant FSUJanuary 20, 2022
Local Girls Having “Total Euphoria Moment” at North Florida Fair
Local Girls Having “Total Euphoria Moment” at North Florida Fair

The North Florida Fair came and went, as did many girls’ fantasies of finally encapsulating that “Zendaya energy.”

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The Eggplant FSUNovember 23, 2021
Local Man With Brown Carhartt Jacket Wants To Take Things Slow this Time
Local Man With Brown Carhartt Jacket Wants To Take Things Slow this Time

The jungles of FSU dating are vast: finance bros that called pregnancy scares failed investments to indie gaslighters who listen to Fleetwood Mac during intercourse to fulfill their unresolved mommy kinks.

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The Eggplant FSUNovember 19, 2021
Grocery Store Employees To Be Used as Traffic Cones at Florida Vaccination Sites
Grocery Store Employees To Be Used as Traffic Cones at Florida Vaccination Sites

With Florida’s recent vaccine eligibility opening for many residents, the question still remains why the state continued to not acknowledge the many essential workers still awaiting vaccination.

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The Eggplant FSUApril 23, 2021
Governor’s Square Claire’s To Begin Offering Open Heart Surgery
Governor’s Square Claire’s To Begin Offering Open Heart Surgery

Many are getting to the point in the semester where hearts begin to race, blood pressure begins to rise, and anxiety is completely unavoidable, even when all of your work is finished.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 31, 2021
Top Five Spots in Tallahassee You Still Won’t Visit After the Pandemic Ends
Top Five Spots in Tallahassee You Still Won’t Visit After the Pandemic Ends

You think you know your city pretty well until you google “Things to do in Tallahassee” and twenty museums within a ten-mile radius pop up on TripAdvisor.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 12, 2021
Alligator Point Nominated As Most Frequented Location For Girls Who “Just Need A Break”
Alligator Point Nominated As Most Frequented Location For Girls Who “Just Need A Break”

Well, it’s March again.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 12, 2021
Girl Who Bought a Keurig Wants To Let You Know Why She’s Ready To Work at Calvin’s
Girl Who Bought a Keurig Wants To Let You Know Why She’s Ready To Work at Calvin’s

We all picked up new tips and tricks over quarantine.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 10, 2021
FSU College of Entrepreneurship To Replace Empty Shell of Blaze Pizza With New Endeavor: Plaze Bizza
FSU College of Entrepreneurship To Replace Empty Shell of Blaze Pizza With New Endeavor: Plaze Bizza

With the anniversary of normalcy coming to an abrupt and unfortunate end-clawing closer, we remember the restaurants that did not stand the test of the pandemic.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 9, 2021
Woman Yearns to Sit Inside at The Edison Again on a Sunday Morning
The Eggplant FSUMarch 2, 2021
New Ways To Explain To Your Hispanic Family Members That FSU Isn’t Near Disney World
New Ways To Explain To Your Hispanic Family Members That FSU Isn’t Near Disney World

Since COVID apparently hasn’t spread to places like Disney World and masks are notoriously known to do well on high-speed roller coasters, some may soon find themselves in a tough position regarding some distant family members.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 26, 2021
Massive Collegetown Fight Traced Back To Little Masa Egg Roll Dispute
Massive Collegetown Fight Traced Back To Little Masa Egg Roll Dispute

We’ve all seen the video. The WWE Smackdown-style brawl happened on Madison Street on Saturday night, blocking traffic and causing chaos for a full five minutes.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 24, 2021
Man Charged With Breaking Into Florida Capitol Described as “Juicy Hunk of a Man” by Unsuspecting Friends and Neighbors
Man Charged With Breaking Into Florida Capitol Described as “Juicy Hunk of a Man” by Unsuspecting Friends and Neighbors

Last Wednesday, Tallahassee Police arrested Dylan Jones for his attempt to break into the Florida Capitol.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 23, 2021
Student Spit on While Ordering Hot Chocolate at Paper Fox Cafe
Student Spit on While Ordering Hot Chocolate at Paper Fox Cafe

Given the recent cold weather in Tallahassee, Florida, many students have been flocking to whatever smoky little cafe they can find.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 19, 2021
Employee at Taco Bell Who Says “Have a Taco-Mazing Day” Actually a Shell of a Person
Employee at Taco Bell Who Says “Have a Taco-Mazing Day” Actually a Shell of a Person

No one has played with our heart strings more than Taco Bell recently.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 19, 2021
Girl With Vale Food Co Meal Plan Loves Your Plus-Size Bravery
Girl With Vale Food Co Meal Plan Loves Your Plus-Size Bravery

There are a lot of options when it comes to eating on FSU campus: waiting 20 minutes for a Chick-fil-a sandwich, getting day-old sushi, or taking a chance on whatever’s in Suwannee.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 16, 2021
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  • The Eggplant FSU
    I haven’t showered since last year😭
    Apr 5, 2023, 8:42 AM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    Investigation into where the fuck those red chairs on landis went
    Apr 2, 2023, 1:42 PM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    We are unbelievably upset by the accusations laid out in this totally real letter we received. We will continue to… https://t.co/rl1b2cYlY5
    Apr 1, 2023, 2:51 PM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    hey fools, happy april🤭
    Apr 1, 2023, 1:23 PM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    Damn, this class is keeping me late🤯🤯🤯 (it ends at 4:20)
    Mar 29, 2023, 4:19 PM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    If our song and mirrorball are gone, what do i have to look forward to for the tampa show, taylor???? (i don’t have tickets)
    Mar 29, 2023, 1:30 PM

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