Styx Parties at Roboto Tokyo Grill Like It’s 1983
Mr. Roboto Tokyo Grill, best known for giving college kids food comas and the second-best time of their weekend, has four locations in the Tallahassee area alone. The restaurant’s name is an homage to the song “Mr. Roboto” by every dad’s favorite progressive rock band, Styx! The band was, surprisingly, recently spotted grubbing at the Roboto Tokyo Grill on Tennessee Street. This is the first time the band has been able to enjoy a decent meal with one another since their fallout in 1983. This reunion came to life after the group was tipped off by an FSU freshman that one of their songs birthed a popular Japanese eatery near campus. “As soon as we heard our music inspired a chain of restaurants in Tallahassee we had to go see for ourselves,” Styx’s accordion player Dennis DeYoung said, wearing a robot helmet.
The owner of the establishment, Roy Charles, is a massive Styx fan. He got the band’s seventh studio album “The Grand Illusion” tattooed permanently on his thigh. “I literally dropped to my knees when Styx entered the building,” Roy exclaimed, foaming from his mouth. “They were even more magical than I had anticipated. I thought they were going to be British, though.” Roy watched over the band’s shoulders as they ate their hibachi. Frontman Tommy Shaw got a little crazy and mixed sriracha with mustard, which almost brought Roy to his knees…again, before immediately adding it to the menu and calling it, “Tommy Sauce”.
Not everyone was as ecstatic as Roy though. One of the Roboto workers, Dave, was unhappy with the surprise visit. “Not only did Roy make me take all REO Speedwagon songs off our playlist, but he also gave Styx their meal for free and took it out of my paycheck,” Dave stated as he wiped the sauce station. “Who the hell even is Styx anyways? I’m twenty-three, which is old for a college town, and even I had no idea. I make in an hour what it would’ve cost one band member to get a chicken hibachi. That’s like the cheapest option.”
Many college students are unfamiliar with Styx’s legacy because their songs are not on rotation at 1851 or Suwannee. “All kids care about these days is Tik Tok and hopscotch,” Tommy Shaw said, playing with his hair. “We decided to give these dopes an education on rock and roll.” Live at Roboto Tokyo Grill, Styx played their hit songs acapella, using silverware as instruments. They performed “Come Sail Away”, “Renegade”, and of course “Mr. Roboto”. The students were loving it, especially while Roy executed his original choreographed dance to “Mr. Roboto” for the band. All of the Styx members then proceeded to smash tables and windows while shouting “Rock and roll!”. One fraternity stopped eating their food and even joined in! And they say Tallhasee builds no community? They all hit the TENN Nightclub afterward, and sources say it was one hell of a night.