“I Am Not Donald Trump” and 6 Other Inspiring Declarations Sure to Boost Your Self-Worth

With the semester well on its way to subtracting valuable years off of your gloomy, overworked life, it can become a little difficult to keep your head up high amongst the madness. While we here at The Eggplant may not have all the answers to your endless list of academic problems, we can offer valuable words of inspiration that are guaranteed to possibly make your day the teensiest bit better.

  1. “I am not Donald Trump.”

This may seem like an obvious statement, but when you really think about it, this sentence may be the single-most confidence-boosting thing you could ever tell yourself. You are not Donald Trump, and you should be proud of that.

   2. “I could have gotten TERF bangs during my last haircut, but I didn’t.”

This is truly an accomplishment. Granted, some people can manage to rock Joan of Arc’s classic ‘do while simultaneously not being complete assholes, including the wonderful Zendaya at the last Met Gala and those trendy indie girls who work at Club Downunder. However, this was still probably a good decision on your part.

   3. “I might have only slept 3 hours last night, but the vampires in Twilight don’t sleep at all    and they’ve been in school for like 80 years.”

While comparing yourself to characters birthed from the brain of Stephenie Meyer may not be the best form of gassing yourself up, this statement does raise a valid point. If dusty, sparkling vampires can make it through a century of high school with zero slumber, you can surely make it through this semester on a few hours and a couple dozen cold brews.

   4.  “I clean my bathroom weekly while my roommate never touches hers.”

You value cleanliness and that is something worth being proud of. It’s been basically proven that there are few things better than whippin’ out a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser and going to town on a grimy bathtub. If you ever want an extra little dose of inspiration, just sneak on over to your roommate's bathroom and remember that if the plague ever makes itself known in society once again, it’s coming for them first.

   5.  “I only cried 4 times this week.”

Don’t rub it in.

   6.  “After this semester, I only have 80 credits left until I can possibly graduate.”
This is the best kind of optimism! Although it's clear that you still have a frightening amount of schooling left before you can finally deuce this soul-crushing money-launderer of an institution, your positivity is infectious, and frankly, adorable.

   7. “I could have gone to UF, but I decided to come here instead.”

This should have been number one. You really did that. Congratulations.

The Eggplant FSU