Friend Group Phasing Out Friend Who Always Suggests Board Games

A local friend group, usually seen searching for Pokemon on Landis, has decided to move forward with their plan to gradually phase out their friend, Margaret Romano, who constantly asks if they want to play board games. Romano has been part of the friend group for an impressive four years but unknowingly sang her swan song when she brought Spongebob Life to their most recent hangout.

“Look...Margaret is a nice girl and all, but we only really started hanging out with her because she was childhood friends with one of our closer friends who pushed for her to be included,” said Jake Artist, the undisputed leader of the friend group, before removing Romano from their group chat. “It will be a good life lesson for her anyway. She’s 20 years old. It’s time she learn that bringing Catchphrase to a pregame is not only damaging her street cred but also the integrity of Hasbro.”

“What? No, my friends totally love when I bring games. Did they say otherwise? I know they usually ask me not to bring them, but they always have super valid excuses, like how Trevor’s dad is highly allergic to the player pieces in Sorry, or how Zack is jealous of the Monopoly man’s mustache and he gets upset whenever he sees the game,” explained Romano as she checked her phone for Candy Crush updates and saw an Instagram picture of all her “friends” in a cute coffee house in Thomasville without her. “Wow, I guess I was reading that vibe wrong this whole time.”

Romano, current friendless loser, attempted to find new friends who share her passion for fun for all ages by logging on to a Reddit gaming thread, but was overwhelmed by the blatant misogyny and terrible body odor, which she couldn’t smell but could definitely sense.

The Eggplant FSU