Intervention Held for Friend Who Thinks He Can Get in the Film Program

A group of concerned and loyal friends gathered to confront their peer about a behavioral pattern that they deemed a sheer act of delusion and “totes a waste of time.” Georgie Hitchface walked to his dorm from his visually-surreal, Eraserhead-like Suwannee dinner to find his friends tearing up his film school application, a screenplay about the life of a spider.

“I mean good for him, but also like he's just not gonna get in. Since I've known him, he's made a single video and it was just of him messing up all the moves to 'Juju on That Beat.' That was the whole video...” said Dave Copperhan while browsing through Mad Men screencaps to prepare for his Advertising application. “He just has to have more realistic expectations from life. Just look at me: to cope with the vast lack of ethics in the ad world, my role model is a fictional character with drinking problems, existential despair and an ambiguous identity.”

Years watching Michael Bay and Zach Snider films have given Georgie a yearning to make artistically-void, mass-produced movies and the film school might just give him the push to make it the Hollywood, ~the most culturally diverse place on Earth, we promise~.

“I’ve always wanted to join the Tinseltown greats. Those Seth Rogen movies are pure fucking classics, and by getting a film degree at FSU I might get to marry a guy that makes movies like that,” said Georgie as he finished writing his spec script for a live action, meme-stuffed, PBS-banned Arthur film. “And don’t get me started on The Maze Runner: Scorch Trials. That movie is easily the best adaptation of a Young Adult Novel starring that one guy from Teen Wolf.”

When asked to comment, the Film School refused to answer, but from their celluloid halls one could hear the whispers of people who only go by the name of PA and who haven't seen sunlight for the approximate length of Boyhood aka eternity.


The Eggplant FSU