Girl Who Donated $5 to BLM in June “So Happy” That Racism is Over Now
Well guys, we did it. Thanks to Saturday’s election update, Joe Biden is now our official President-elect and we can bid farewell to the days of constant Oval Office tweeting and worse than pathetic pandemic response. Many Americans find themselves taking a deep sigh of relief after the results of this election, while others are still having trouble reading the big words in the official announcement. Some people are certainly more excited than others, however, and this includes those who have been fed up with that pesky racism ever since they first learned about it four months ago.
“I’m just so glad that racism is finally over! That was a long few months of me having to be aware of my privileges and people being oppressed. I did make donations whenever I could though,” explained FSU sophomore Alyssa White, who was seen walking up the Diffenbaugh hill with a Starbucks peppermint mocha. “Did I protest? Uh, I definitely protested on Instagram by linking blacklivesmatter.carrd.co on every post but like, not in person. I posted a lot of really awesome infographics though. You should check them out, they’re all highlighted on my profile under the title ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*BLM*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧. I also bought this pink sparkly ACAB t-shirt from Shein last week, it’s super cute. Anyway, now that we have Kamala in the Oval Office we shouldn’t have any more racism or sexism problems. She is a girl boss after all.”
“I wouldn’t say racism is over exactly…” remarked James Baker of the FSU Democratic Socialists. “I honestly figured that if you drive an Audi to Traditions every morning you might be able to scrape up more than five dollars to donate to mutual aid or bail funds. Especially when you probably spend like six grand every semester for your sorority to build a new colonial-style mansion. But that’s just me! Ideally, if you wanted change, you’d be organizing with community leaders but I understand if some people don’t have time for that between going to date functions and having their eardrums blown out by some DJ in a ski mask at Baja’s. Either way, we flipped Georgia so I guess that’s progress at least?”
Despite her misguided attempts at helping the cause, I’m sure Alyssa and her generous $5 have gone a long way in putting an end to systemic racism in America, which she apparently thinks is already over (spoiler alert: it’s not). Seriously though, if you are trying to help spread awareness even a little bit, you might want to look beyond the first infographic that comes up on Shaun King’s Instagram feed.