Swifties everywhere were absolutely, catastrophically, unprepared for the events of this past weekend, but there was perhaps no one less prepared than the culprit in question himself: Jake Gyllenhaal.
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It’s one thing for a university to champion free thought, but it is another thing to bring a literal radical alt-right leprechaun onto campus.
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Well folks, it happened. Against all odds, the Florida State Seminoles managed to play what was perhaps the most exciting football game in however long it's been since they were good.
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Wednesday is going to be a big day for annoying people everywhere.
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In recent news, Harry Styles’ “Love On Tour” has been forever altering the personalities of girly pops everywhere.
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A truly heartwarming scene filled the Globe this last Tuesday as many staff members of Florida State University were gathered for a complimentary pizza party provided by the few department Deans who weren’t taking paid time off.
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According to an anonymous source, Florida State University (FSU) has been paying its employees a mere three pennies and one Suwannee Hall dinner meal a year.
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Let’s be honest with ourselves. After FSU Football came in at a crisp 0-4 record, no one had any confidence that the boys could pull it together and give us a win.
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From hosting Battleship in the Leach Pool and achieving viral success with their own version of Crate Stacking, Campus Rec does not sleep on the latest trends.
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The days of local house shows with bands like Her New Knife and Airport Drive are long behind us.
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In recent weeks, FSU football games have become a hub for racists, homophobes, and every gross grouping of people, although this has kinda always been the case. Kappa Delta found a way to highlight themselves in a way that isn’t related to balayages, believing that a time of heightened political sensitivity and constant protesting is also a good time to hate crime Black people.
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FSU is currently four games into its 2021 season, which means four games of increasingly crushing losses Seminole stans have been forced to witness.
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Nothing spreads faster than a TikTok trend, well maybe, second only to FSU’s own Flu strain (along with every other FSU created disease-looking at you chlamydia).
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Much to the relief of the entire student body of FSU, construction on the university’s new Oglesby Union is now completed, including a wave of new eateries including Panera Bread, Jamba Juice, and seven new “Mom and Pop’s” hot dog stands inside.
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With the start of classes comes the continuation of old-fashioned methods of attempting to bring together a room of students who will never speak to each other ever again. Like, ever.
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The presence of Greek Life at universities has long been a source of conflict within student bodies across the nation. With the recent controversies surrounding numerous chapters on Florida State’s campus (cough, cough), the Eggplant wanted to gather perspective from students and find out what their thoughts are on Greek Life at FSU
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Full capacity and full steam ahead. A return to normal. A few things that could totally be possible if collectivism was more prevalent at Florida State University (and honestly, Florida as a whole--yes we are looking at you DeSantis).
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We’ve all been there before. You introduce yourself to a man in a position of power, and all you can think to say is, “Hey, hot stuff”.
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Greetings, reader.
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TikTok is known for capitalizing off of self-diagnosed dancers and 16-year-old self-proclaimed comedians, but a large demographic for the app is socially starved college students.
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