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The Eggplant
Seminole Experience To Start Selling Westcott Baptisms
Seminole Experience To Start Selling Westcott Baptisms

Since not many people want to sweat their asses off doing ‘Yoga on the Field’ or running the 5k to the stadium, FSU’s event department known as the Seminole Experience™ had no choice but to get crafty.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 29, 2021
CDU Hosting Male Manipulator Music Night
CDU Hosting Male Manipulator Music Night

“Anyone at FSU with a septum ring knows that Club Downunder is the place to go if you want to see some indie artist be mad as fuck about how he’s in a college town with no underage girls.”

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 24, 2021
Noise Complaints Stemming from Surplus of Doc Marten Squeaks in Strozier Starbucks Following Oat Milk Release
Noise Complaints Stemming from Surplus of Doc Marten Squeaks in Strozier Starbucks Following Oat Milk Release

In recent news, Starbucks has announced the introduction of oat milk into their establishments.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 10, 2021
English Professor Prohibits Discussion Board Post Responses Containing the Phrase "So True, Bestie"
English Professor Prohibits Discussion Board Post Responses Containing the Phrase "So True, Bestie"

The neurological damage caused by the Hyper Online social interaction many of us have been limited to over the past year may have left us without the faculties to communicate beyond trending catchphrases.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 4, 2021
FSU Announces Vapes for Vaccines Exchange Program on Landis Green
FSU Announces Vapes for Vaccines Exchange Program on Landis Green

Last week, in an unexpected press conference, President Thrasher announced plans for the next phase of COVID-19 vaccine distribution here at FSU.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 3, 2021
Burned Out Gifted Kid Rediscovers the Meaning of Life by Joining FSU Honors Program
Burned Out Gifted Kid Rediscovers the Meaning of Life by Joining FSU Honors Program

Besides all of the chaos happening in the world right now, school is already tough, and nobody knows this more than a burnt out gifted kid.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 22, 2021
Frat Busted in Hazing Scandal After Forcing Pledges To Brand “FSU” Into Their Hands Using the Suwannee Waffle Iron
Frat Busted in Hazing Scandal After Forcing Pledges To Brand “FSU” Into Their Hands Using the Suwannee Waffle Iron

Frats and sororities, once a staple of college life, have been radically altered in the face of the pandemic.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 11, 2021
New Wall Street Offices To Be Set up in ASLC Gaming Center
New Wall Street Offices To Be Set up in ASLC Gaming Center

The streets of Tallahassee have been relatively desolate the past couple of weeks.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 4, 2021
CDU To Organize Coronavirus Vaccine Distribution via Grab and Go Event
CDU To Organize Coronavirus Vaccine Distribution via Grab and Go Event

Amidst the recent development and distribution of the coronavirus vaccine, FSU students have been in contact with local health departments and the university to find out when and where they can receive their vaccination.

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The Eggplant FSUJanuary 29, 2021
FSU School of Theatre Presents "PURG: The Musical"
FSU School of Theatre Presents "PURG: The Musical"

“Purgatory: The Musical” is a tantalizing, next-to-real-life look into the party culture of FSU.

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The Eggplant FSUJanuary 26, 2021
FSU Math Fraternity Accused of Hazing
FSU Math Fraternity Accused of Hazing

Florida State is full of sororities and fraternities; in fact, greek life was ranked the #1 reason to attend by students who were on academic probation in high school.

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The Eggplant FSUJanuary 22, 2021
Amplify Party Rebrand: Same Dumb Shit, New Sexy Name
Amplify Party Rebrand: Same Dumb Shit, New Sexy Name

Following the absolute abomination that was Jack Denton’s removal as SGA Senate President (and subsequent reinstatement), the Amplify Party was, of course, looking for ways to cover their tracks.

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The Eggplant FSUJanuary 12, 2021
Strozier Statue Reportedly Vanishing and Reappearing Overnight: Campus Terrified
Strozier Statue Reportedly Vanishing and Reappearing Overnight: Campus Terrified

Students and staff alike at Florida State University are shaken and quite frankly deeply disturbed.

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The Eggplant FSUJanuary 7, 2021
FSU Football Releases Statement Begging Public to "Stop Being So Mean"
FSU Football Releases Statement Begging Public to "Stop Being So Mean"

It has been one absolute travesty after another with the Seminoles this season.

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The Eggplant FSUDecember 4, 2020
5 Reasons Why FSU Football Is In Her Flop Era
5 Reasons Why FSU Football Is In Her Flop Era

In recent but unsurprising news, nearly every scheduled football game at Florida State University has been postponed or canceled under ominous circumstances.

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The Eggplant FSUDecember 1, 2020
President Thrasher’s 350k Bonus To Be Spent on Facelift From Dr. Miami
President Thrasher’s 350k Bonus To Be Spent on Facelift From Dr. Miami

It was announced on Friday that FSU’s Board of Trustees has voted in favor of giving President John Thrasher a $350,000 bonus for the 2018-2019 school year.

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The Eggplant FSUNovember 24, 2020
Canvas Two-Factor Verification To Accept Your Old Poptropica Password
Canvas Two-Factor Verification To Accept Your Old Poptropica Password

As if any FSU students needed additional stressors to accessing Canvas beyond the prospect of seeing their grades, FSU has introduced two-factor verification.

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The Eggplant FSUNovember 19, 2020
Norvell Ecstatic That Biden Win Distracted Seminole Boosters From Blowout Loss to Pitts
Norvell Ecstatic That Biden Win Distracted Seminole Boosters From Blowout Loss to Pitts

For the first time in seven years, and the second time as ACC opponents, Florida State faced off with the University of Pittsburgh.

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The Eggplant FSUNovember 9, 2020
A Look Into UCC Counselor Training
A Look Into UCC Counselor Training

Before starting any job, employees must be trained.

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The Eggplant FSUNovember 6, 2020
WVFS To Host Jack Denton’s New Radio Show, “Crybaby Court”
WVFS To Host Jack Denton’s New Radio Show, “Crybaby Court”

In a shocking turn of events for absolutely no one, FSU’s SGA Senate President Jack Denton has taken yet another step in avoiding any possible consequences for his actions by moving to the FSU Supreme Court to argue for his reinstatement.

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The Eggplant FSUNovember 2, 2020
Newer Older

  • The Eggplant FSU
    I haven’t showered since last year😭
    Apr 5, 2023, 8:42 AM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    Investigation into where the fuck those red chairs on landis went
    Apr 2, 2023, 1:42 PM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    We are unbelievably upset by the accusations laid out in this totally real letter we received. We will continue to… https://t.co/rl1b2cYlY5
    Apr 1, 2023, 2:51 PM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    hey fools, happy april🤭
    Apr 1, 2023, 1:23 PM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    Damn, this class is keeping me late🤯🤯🤯 (it ends at 4:20)
    Mar 29, 2023, 4:19 PM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    If our song and mirrorball are gone, what do i have to look forward to for the tampa show, taylor???? (i don’t have tickets)
    Mar 29, 2023, 1:30 PM

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